My sister added her name to all of our dads accounts as joint or Power of Attorney, and now all of his money is going to her against his wishes. What can we do?

I am the sole 24/7 caretaker of my dad. During the past year, I noticed that my sister changed bank accounts, CD's and all his money to joint account by survivorship and P/O/D on accounts. Payable to my sister. This was done with his dementia and failing health. She took advantage of his mental state and since I am the one that moved in...the secrets out. This is not what he wanted for his kids. He wants equal split as explained in will. But, this LARGE sum of money is skipping the will. I don't want to turn my sister in but I don't want her to be a sneaky dishonest person. Having a tough time with this one and my other siblings don't have backbone. So, I am caretaker and have to try to sort thru the money that has been stolen from the estate before he's even passed. I am sick and can someone give me advice!

revenge is mine saith the lord- they think they are getting away with it but their not- all my mom can say is while crying " he came in and ......... thats it nothing else- who knows what he said or did to her - but its obvious she wont forget - he lives in her house and has since was a kid - never moved out - she spoiled him and he took advantage- my mom has dementia and cries and shakes- i am currently unemployed so moved her in with me- she wanted to die in that house but what ever he did she finally wanted out at 79 . he has used most of the equity and is trying to refinance again- he kept her social security check this month even though he said he would write me a check - i will go to the soc. sec. office and try and change to my address- if i am not careful i could hate my brother but that would only affect me not him- when the time is right i will let him know - you think you've gotten away with murder - thats right - he murdered her soul and her spirit - i have to continually remind her that he is not here- he has gotten away with nothing because i have handed him over to God to deal with because if I try to handle it myself God would have to deal with my bitterness,my hatred, my murderous heart - so I have to let it go !

Who has the Durable Power of Atty? If you have it, then she does not have the legal right to do as she has done and is liable for you to sue her in behalf of you father.

I would also take his will to an estate atty and explain what is going on. This type of thing does go on in families and must not just let it take place because they are family. Sister or not, she's taken advantage of and abused your dad's trust.

Legally, in the three states I live near, you cannot add yourself to someone else's accounts without signatures of the original account holder. That means one of two things has happened, your parents have signed things and either forgot, or there has been some forgery.

When I was made my mother's power of attorney, I had to take a copy of the power of attorney to the bank, after they verified that it was valid, they still had to have papers for my mother to sign and she had to be present to sign them. She was ill which meant that we had to take her on a good day to the bank and they had to see that she was in the car in order for them to accept the signature, and she had to have her id with her. Also, many places want a power of attorney to be filed/recorded at your county courthouse in order to be official.

The very first thing that you need to do is to speak to the bank manager and find out what their procedure for adding someone to an account is in order to find out what your family members are guilty of.

There is a snow ball's chance that your parent just does not want to admit that they made a decision in haste that they regret now. When my Mother got older she began to be manipulative and play my brother and I against each other and to do things like tell my children that I didn't love them as much as she did, in order to force me to do things I hadn't knuckled under about. Basically, the type of thing a child does, only with the intelligence and life experience of an adult.

But barring that, the bank manager may be able to help you decide where to turn from here. Legal action is probable. You have to make hard decisions sometimes, and in this case you have to decide who needs to be protected, your siblings or your parents. You will probably not get the luxury of picking both.

From what I understand, unless a right of survivorship document was completed or these accounts were made joint before his mind weakened, then she can't just take that money and make it hers. The Durable POA gives her access to pay for his care, and several other things outlines by state statutes which should be available form the atty general's office of your state. To really be considered official in some places, as said above, it really must be submitted to the register of deeds in the county in which he lives.

My own situation is a bit different for 7 years ago my mother made me joint owner of all of her accounts in one bank in our state and before her mind got real weak made me joint owner with the right of survivor ship of all her securities. After months of looking, I've found her will and see that I'm executor of the estate and sole inheritor of all she owns, has been given, and inherited. When I took the POA to the bank, their response was you are already co-owner of the accounts, but she is the primary owner. Now, I did have to submit my POA to be copied at another bank where she and my step-dad have a joint account. My POA has helped me gather information on past years that we did not have in order to complete taxes. This including accessing information on a dead account.

The comments above offer great advice - to it I'd suggest contacting your local Area Agency on Aging for advice about this scenario. They might be able to suggest contacts with the local legal authorities who can investigate this and rectify things with no cost or time on your part. Taking advantage of someone like your sister has done is illegal. She can be made to repay anything she's spent on herself or for things NOT related to your father's care. Should your father require medicaide or financial assistance from the state, any asset she uses - cash, cars,etc - can disqualify him from assistance for months.

Don't worry about "turning your sister in" - she has proven that she cannot be trusted. By doing this behind your back she has demonstrated that she has no respect or trust for you or your father. If she wished to sustain your sibling relationship beyond your fathers death, her actions indicate otherwise. If you had your Dad's POA before this then it's up to you to fight on his behalf - and do it QUICKLY before she spends too much and it can't be recovered. Being a POA is not easy, it means saying the difficult things and making difficult decisions. It also means that your sister might be really angry so be prepared and know that you're in the right to fulfill your fathers long term intent. There's a reason he didn't give her POA long ago - she's lived up to his expectations - or DOWN to them.