My mother needs her Mitral Valve replaced or she will die. She suffers from Sundowners Syndrome and can't seem to make a decision, so we have to. What should we do?

Asked by elaineshai  |  Mar 2, 2010

My mother needs her matric value replaced or she will die, she is 86 and declining in health. She has sundown syndrome and cannot make a decision one time she says yes and then absolutely no. We have to make the decision for her--what should we do, she has 70-80% recovery, could have stroke or other complications during surgery-guilt-yes, what do we do, go against her will and let her die.

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anonymous13319

Give a Hug

Mar 3, 2010

Elaine: one of my family members (73 yrs old) just had this surgery. She was in fairly good health and is recovering well.

However, I think it is different when the patient is fagile and would have a long recovery ahead of them. I feel sadness for this decision you have to make...I think we will all be there someday. It sounds like your mother cannot give you input because of her mental state. I would have a frank discussion with her doctor so he can give you the pros and cons and maybe get a second opinion from a geriatric specialist or a hospice administrator. Did they give you any idea how long she would have without the surgery?

I am normally cautious when it comes to something so invasive for someone your mother's age. It may become a "quality of life" issue.

Good luck...If you speak with enough people in your family and in the medical community, I think that the right answer will present itself.

 
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