My mom has Alzheimer's and she thinks pictures of her grandkids are real kids. How should we respond when she asks us to feed them?

Asked by ljw1158  |  Mar 18, 2010

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Deanna Lueckenotte, Mar 19, 2010

Deanna Lueckenotte is the author of "Alzheimer's Days Gone By: For Those Caring For Their Loved Ones." She plans to continue publishing books related to Alzheimer's and caregivers. She would also like to continue her education by obtaining her doctorate in geriatrics.

 

When caring for someone with Alzheimer's always let go of your reality and enter their reality wherever they may be. If your loved one wants you to feed the grandkids you could respond by engaging them in a reminsce activity about some of the favorite meals that have prepared in the past. You can also agree and say you will go to the kitchen to see what we can cook for them. Have your loved one help prepare a simple light snack if have eaten recently and sit down to eat together and talk about fond memories.

 
 

Jaye

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Mar 19, 2010

pictures and mirrors can really confuse someone with alzheimer's disease... I would just remove them for now!!!

 
 

DanielRomero

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Mar 19, 2010

Deanna's first sentence "When caring for someone with Alzheimer's always let go of your reality and enter their reality wherever they may be" hits the nail on the head. I have stated before that my mother loves to talk to herself in the mirror. At first I thought "that's not good, I should remove the mirror or explain to her that she is talking to herself"...I decided against removal or explanation...those option would only make her miss the "friend" in the mirror or confuse her...I call it going with my mother's flow but "entering her reality" is a much better term. As long as what your mother is doing is not unsanitary, does not hurt her, others or property and she enjoys it, go with her flow. Tell her the kids aren't hungry now but we can check on them later, distract with a story but do your best not to confuse her anymore than she already is. Remember to take some time for you when possible and good luck with your journey.

 
 

AlzCaregiver

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Mar 19, 2010

I'd say go by the distress level. If it's distressful that the kids can't be fed, then remove the photos. It's one thing to have photos remind that one had a rich life and people love you still, but it's another to provoke delusions. I stopped showing Mom photos of her mother for that reason.

 
 

SecretSister

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Mar 19, 2010

I think I'd just hand her a spoon :) Don't mean to be rude, but let her have her delusions. At least she has something to hold on to. (Unless, there is some distress associated.) Who knows, maybe you can both get a laugh.

 
 

DanielRomero

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Mar 19, 2010

The best way to alleviate a AD patient in distress is with laughter or changing the subject...I doubt if taking pictures away helps; it probably just causes more confusion and a different stressful situation

 
 

Jaye

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Mar 19, 2010

humor as far as I am concerned is always good!!!

 
 

hapfra

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Mar 21, 2010

Our reality and a person with AD are quite different, as previously mentioned. You have to take down all mirrors, and possibly pictures-and just accept (but do not try to correct) your Mom's take of things. This can be quite frustrating at times for you or your family and friends-but I have found confrontation can just make matters worse-In short-for everyone's sake-just GO WITH THE FLOW.

Best wishes on your caregiving journey.

Hap

 
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