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My 88-year-old mother thinks we, her children, are stealing her things. She is losing things constantly and thinking other people take them. How should we take care of this?

Asked by zenia333 | Sep 1, 2010

She thinks her memory is perfect. How do we convince her to talk to her doctor so that she can be evaluated.
A cousin who lives near her provides some care as well and a 2nd cousin has also observed the problem. Do we all get together and share our concern? She hung up the phone last time I tried to talk to her about the problem. My father died 8 months ago and she is worse now.

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Sep 2, 2010

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs

21. My 88-year-old mother thinks we, her children, are stealing her things. She is losing things constantly and thinking other people take them. How should we take care of this?
This is very common, and very painful. Your mother can’t accept (or doesn’t want to accept) her memory problems. It’s natural to get a bit paranoid if things keep “disappearing.” She is in denial or just can’t understand that her memory is failing. Most caregivers go through this, particularly when dementia is involved. You may want to read this article:
Who is telling the truth - http://www.agingcare.com/133383
Take care,
Carol

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