Home » Senior Living » Assisted Living » Questions » My mother-in-law has last stage dementia and…

My mother-in-law has last stage dementia and lives in an assisted living home. My husband is feeling tremendous guilt for placing her there. Is guilt normal?

Asked by kblack1021 | Aug 11, 2010

At first he would make 2 - 3 day visits. Then it went to 1 - 2 times a month since the facility asked him not to visit so often because she got angry/violent afterwards. She has recently had several seizures and her health is detiorating. It is difficult for him to see her at all. I am now starting to go once a week to visit so that she is not alone. Is guilt normal...and what can be done for it?

Answers 1 to 1 of 1

Carol Bradley Bursack, Aug 12, 2010

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs

Guilt is very normal and "unearned." You are right to visit. Your husband needs to accept the fact that this move was for her safety and in her best interest. You are both still caregivers - you just got help. If he can't come to terms with that, a counselor may be needed. Many people need some help to adjust to this.
Carol

(0)

Report this Post