I have power of attorney for my mother. My sister who lives in another state wants me to provide a ledger to her of how I'm spending my mother's social security. Does she have say in how that money is being spent?

If mom only knew what people really thought of her... O, it's not a pretty thought. Best focus on something more positive. There is life beyond demented and greedy people. I don't want to be swallowed up in the vortex of anger and discouragement.

tell her to go pee up a rope.

lovbob

Wow! now I know what they mean by "money is the root of all evil." I too have a sib who is completely absent from caregiving (or even visiting). I take care of EVERYTHING and would love to have sibs that take an interest or would want to take over for me once and awhile. oh well....
I think that it would be a burden for you to sit down and write out every cent you spend on your mother and have to account to the missing sister. Not to mention that you are not being compensated for all those little "misc." errands, doc visits, etc. Those things add up, and if you had to hire a caregiver to do it, your mom could not afford it.
However, there is nothing to be gained by being "snarky" to the sis. But, tell her you will make a trade: You will give her a quarterly accounting, if she comes to take over for you one week, three times a year. Then she can see up close and personal how much fun it is and how she is adding to your stress.
Geeeez....isn't this just adding insult to injury????

Cheryl001 - this almost sounds abusive - cutting her off from the outside world? I think you should contact social services or the department of aging and get someone to look into this.

When taking care of my dad was a emotional and physical challenge,I did receive love and appreciation from him,with the lawsuit my brothers have slapped on me that has been going on for 3 years now,the price is looking toward the 100,000 dollar mark and no end in sight.Angrey and jealous siblings and greedy lawyers go hand in hand.I can barely feed my self now because of the lawsuit,I was a 24/7 caregiver for more years than I would like to admit to.My dad was appreciative but my brothers and there team of lawyers aren't.Don't ever under estimate a angrey deadbeat sibling,you may not love them,but lawyers do.

Sheri's information is just wonderful if you have mature, compasionate siblings all around. What usually happens is that one sib gets chosen by default to be the primary caregiver (trust me, I didn't appoint myself "queen" this is no royal duty.)...while the others look the other way. In fact, if there was no money involved, you would NEVER see the other sibs. The only come out of the woodwork when the dirty work is done and there is money to be had.
I think that keeping the lines of communication open is a very good thing. But, to make the primary caregiver have to keep extensive records or call formal meetings is just too much work added to an already impossible burden.
I think that asking the sibs to take turns coming for a few weeks a year to give you a break is a great way for them to spend quality time with their parents and the can have as much fun as they want to "go over the books."
Keep good records...but do not become the unpaid account for unresponsive sibs.

You have to account for it to Social Security, don't you? I know I do, annually. Tell her that Social Security has a documented report, and you have no legal obligations to your sister. Bless you for caring for your mom! Sissy live near a lake?

I have been told it is best to keep receipts for everything and document all spending. If your Mom goes into a home and her cash runs out, they will look back at how her money was spent in the last 3 or more years. If you don't have records, they can come after you for the unaccounted spending, to help pay for her care. Also. it is good to keep the peace with your sister. She could turn on you and make you pay back her half when Mom is gone, if you can't show her how the money was spent.
I have 6 siblings and was left to care for Mom on my own, and do all the bill paying etc. I'm hoping no one comes after me when all is said and done! Good luck.

I am one of 6 siblings. One of my brothers became a self appointed caregiver for my mom without our knowledge. Mother is in a state that she no longer remembers what she has signed. Apparently he has full control of everything and refuses to inform us of her financial or health situation. We feel this is our right but now have to go through the legal system to be a part of her care.