How do I stop my mother from opening credit cards and charging things she can't afford?

Asked by tcn  |  Dec 28, 2009

This Christmas she charged almost $1,000 and she doesnt have the money to pay the bill because my sister pays for her living expenses.

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Carol Bradley Bursack, Dec 28, 2009

Over the span of two decades author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Bradley Bursack created a portable support group, the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories."

 

Much depends on your mother's mental state, but if your sister pays her living expenses, she should be able to get a handle on this. I'm surprised your mother can do this, as credit is harder to get now.

Does your sister have Power Of Attorney? She should have if she is paying the bills. She could put a credit freeze on your mother's credit reports and that would stop new cards from being approved unless unfrozen. Perhaps checking with one of the major credit card bureaus would be fruitful. Checking with her bank should help, too.

Good luck with this frustration.
Carol

 
 

tcn

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Dec 28, 2009

Thank you we will start their.

 
 

195Austin

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Jan 4, 2010

I would think your Mom would be responsible for paying off her credit card bills unlike me paying my late husbands credit card bills.

 
 

SharonS

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Jan 4, 2010

If no one has a power of attorney get one fast. I used my poa that I had from an elderly neighbor to close her accounts and change her credit card address to mine. I also took over her bill paying. At one point she had five credit cards from one bank. It took me an entire summer to get it straightened out.

 
 

lmw124

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Jan 4, 2010

My mother did a lot of damage with credit cards, and I am the one who is stuck paying the bills now. My sister has power of attorney and guardianship now, I should have done this years ago when mom started charging stuff. We had a really messy court trial and it was terrible to have to go through, and I gave out both physically and emotionally as her sole caretaker. She tried to sue us for taking away her credit cards and checkbook and claimed we stole the things that are stored at my sister's, and I am not sure whether this issued is really settled. She is now in a nursing home, does not like it, tries to use me to get around the rules there and weasel me into providing medications and vitamins that the doctor does not prescribe. I finally told mom I would not come and visit if she was going to try to use me, or ask me to do things that would get me in trouble or even arrested and put in jail. I am now living with my sister, I cannot afford a place of my own with trying to pay off all these cards, at least I have a place to live and concentrate on getting my life back together again. Don't wait too long to get control of this issue of spending and credit cards because it can easily cause a lot of damage to family members who have to deal with paying all of this off when they go to the nursing home.

 
 

Tomatilla

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Jul 15, 2011

I hope your sister is helping, too. Also, get with an Eldercare lawyer and make sure that some of the debt cannot be written off.

 
 

195Austin

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Jul 15, 2011

Carol and all the others you gave good advice. My husband could not do anything for himself and would make sure he fell if asked to do anything but could still order items and get his credit cards out-it is an illness and I hope you can get this straightened out and maybe an elder lawyer can write to these companies-I do not think you are responsible for your mother's debts-that was what I was told-only for a spouse.

 
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