My grandma thinks my fiancé is "her man". How do I get this to stop?

Asked by angelaleigh76  |  Feb 3, 2012

We live with her to caregive. She has Dementia and thinks he is her man. It was cute at first but now she is getting very angry and jealous with me- like she is in high school competing for his attention. Its very stressful for both my fiance and I when she gets angry over it. I dont want to correct her but Im running out of ideas to distract her. She has always had an eye out for a man! But I never thought it would be for MY MAN.. haha

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cp54

Give a Hug

Feb 14, 2012

Never had to deal with this particular manifestation, but as my grandmother's dementia progressed, she lost her sense of was and was not acceptable behavior. My mother was her caregiver and some of the things Nana said and did still bother Mom, nearly 30 years later. So now I am the recipient of the trickle down effect as Mom adds those issues to her own (and she has plenty).
IMHO, if the dementia is that far, you probably will never get her to stop. She just is not capable of processing reality any more. While not deliberate or malicious in intent, this is still not good and could, and probably will, get worse. And it very possibly will impact your relationship with your fiancé at some point. It may be time for you to start exploring other options for her.

 
 

NancyH

Give a Hug

Feb 14, 2012

It wouldn't surprise me, that if your fiance were to move out, she'd probably forget all about him. It's the constant reminder of his presence now, that's making it hard for her to remember he's not her husband or whatever she thinks they are to each other.

 
 

eydie57

Give a Hug

Feb 16, 2012

just humor her. she's old, she has dementia. as long as you live together, it's going to happen. if you really want it to stop, either she goes or he does.

 
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