My father uses a walker but is very unsteady on his feet & can't be left alone for any amount of time. He can't do anything for himself, ie, pour a glass of water, take his meds. He leaves this all up to my mother, including the incontinence.He also has some dementia. This is now taking a toll on my mother's health. She feels this is her job to take care of him. I live 1,000 miles away and my recent visit confirmed she can't take care of the house and she lets him sleep a lot because it's her only break. She waited a long time to own her own home & says they are not moving. Other times she says she would love to quit cooking and thinks about assisted living. I know she is waiting for me to pull the trigger. I've told my Dad we need to think of plan B and that he is wearing my mother out. He says he doesn't think he's that much work!! I don't know where to start.