How can I making the living situation with my mother work, without becoming resentful about caring for her?

If you can get her to some adult day care (even is she needs a wheelchair), it would help. You need to have a break from her.

Her anxiety may be medical, so I'd be sure her doctor knows about this. Perhaps an anti-anxiety medication may help?

If you want this to work, you will have to find a way. These are two ideas. Likely other people will chime in, so stay tuned.
Carol

I have same problem,dad and i going down hill fast. I can't bear to be in the same room sometimes. He won't go out and don't like visitors because it interfers with him watching his programs.If i go out and am longer than he thinks i should be he goes mad with worry that i've had an accident.

Is there someone you can call to come sit with them while you go out. You need time away or you really will go crazy. Perhaps you belong to a church, or perhaps you could phone your local dept. of Aging and see if they can refer you to someone.

I wonder, if it's NOT a medication remedy situation, can you do what they do with a dog that has separation anxiety? It sounds awful I know, so don't drop your jaw yet. We had to leave our dog home and he'd go crazy. I started by just going out the front door and waiting for a few minutes, then come back in. The time I would leave would become longer, BUT I'd always come back. He eventually got used to me leaving him alone, but it took a LONG time for him to figure that out.
I don't know, can a human being be trained like that or not? Isn't it just de-sensitizing them to you being gone? It was either that or I was gonna get rid of that dog...no I guess that part wouldn't work. :)

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Marion may I ask why you live with your mom and how long you've been there?