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lcg Asked..

Am I bad selfish daughter if I don't want my mother to move in with me, my husband and our two children?

My mother is 62-years-old with moderate emphysema and wants to live with me, 2 children and husband. Am I a bad selfish daughter?
Jan 14, 2010
 
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Answers (1 to 5 of 50)

PBro said
Jan 20, 2010

By all means, you are NOT a bad daughter. My mom moved in with my husband and I two and a half years ago. She has some health and mobility issues, but for the most part is able to care for herself. This has not worked out as my mom is very moody and tends to be somewhat self-centered. Earlier this month we moved her into an assisted living facility and we couldn't be happier. I know she is well cared for by good people. Overall, she seems pleased to have her own place again, even though her negative attitude still surfaces from time to time. Sometimes, even family members that we love dearly cannot, and should not, live under the same roof.

naheaton said
Jan 20, 2010

Why would any parent want to live with their children in the first place is beyond me. What ever happened to wanting to be independent as long as a person is physically able? Your mom is only 5 years older than me, and the thought of having to put my son and his wife out by me living with them is ridiculous. Believe me, your mom is NOT the only parent that I've been reading about on this website that wants to live with their kids. She's still young enough to have a fulfilling life without having to have you do the fulfilling... I don't get it.

angelgirlpj said
Jan 20, 2010

Hearing your mom's age makes me question what is she thinking? Is she lonely? If she is not in need of Home Care or Assisted living why would she want to move in with you?
Get her in a senior complex or apartment where there would be other people she could talk to and get involved with.
My thoughts, you are NOT a bad daughter, you probably are saving your daughter mother relationship by not moving her in.

momakm said
Jan 20, 2010

Please never think your a bad daughter. My mother lives in an in law suite attached to my home. I was hoping to have a relationship with her now that we are both older. It isnt working and things have gone from bad to worse. If anyone ever has any reservations dont do it. It makes for a very misserable life.

bobbie321 said
Jan 20, 2010

don't do it. it sux the life out of you and your family. My mom lives with us and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. Each day I wake up exhausted and mom is fairly easy to care for.

I've read about people who are in counseling and taking antidepressants just to put up with this stuff. Assisted Living is the way to go. Save yourself and your family!!

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