My elderly parents treat me as their whipping board. How do I handle this?

First talk to your Dad then your brother. Talk to an attorney. He'll be able to help you with legal issues, or is there a welfare agency that can give you info. It's really difficult to deal with things from a distance and your brother really needs to come for a visit to help set things up.

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Sandy, thank you for responding. I almost feel guilty even writing my comment and, probably, should have put it under caregiving. It was my first time on this site and I was over whelmed that day. My dad isn't always rational due to his lack of oxygen and my mom just has issues. Dad and I can usually work things out, but my mom can be a bear. Whatever she wants she gets because she's dying and my dad is heartbroken. mom's cognition is declining which makes things worse. He's dying too, but in his mind that doesn't matter. As for my brother, I wrote to him about our parents 60th anniversary and he never even answered me. His attitude is that our parents are still going, and that's all that matters. I have found some peace in just reading about other people and their plights. I realize now I can't make everything better and it's not my fault when my parents unleash. I just need to calmly and consistently handle things - I guess. My best to you!

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PSJ: why does your brother have PoA when you are the caregiver and he lives so far away? PoAs are given to those who are in the best position to assess your parent's needs. There will come a time when immediate decisions need to be made and your brother may be too hard to reach. Talk to your Dad and see if it isn't wiser to have the PoA changed.
In every family there are those who step up and those who step back.

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My heart goes out to you, Things might be a bit different here in Canada so I don't have agency info. Hopefully someone else who has dealt with this will reply.

Is your Dad a vet? If so see the info about their helps.