For many families the stress of the holiday season is family, especially aging parents. Gerontologist and elder care expert Esther Koch, founder of Encore Management, has a simple yet highly effective prescription for holiday stress relief….reframe the experience. "Use the holidays to change the focus from all that you have to do for your parent to all the experiences you can have with your parent", recommends Koch who also was the primary caregiver to her mother for ten years.
"Your holidays will be joyful if you intend them to be", says Koch. "You may have to start with forgiveness - forgive your parents, forgive your siblings and forgive yourself." She emphasizes, "A little forgiveness can eliminate years of regret."
Koch continues, "As a caregiver, you do need to recognize your parent's limits as well as your own." Adjust commitments whenever necessary for health reasons and don't forget to schedule time for yourself. "Most of all, be in the moment and don't take for granted that your parent will always be as physically and mentally able as they are now", she says.
Koch suggestions the following to make holiday memories. "With just a little thought, the possibilities are limitless and the results may turn out to be some of the most memorable times you will ever share with your parent", she says.
Go to a holiday lighting event; take a drive to see neighborhood Christmas decorations; check out the holiday shopping windows; or buy and trim the tree together.
Go to the Nutcracker or a choir concert; participate in a sing-a-long Messiah; or attend a Christmas Eve service. Rent a holiday movie or watch a holiday TV special.
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