N1K2R3

I based my comment on my personal experience. My husband received the full amount of what was estimated on the value of the house, he shared that money with his sister
while I took care of my mother in law in that house. The reverse mortgage was with Fannie Mae Foundation. Check it out with them. Again, I say, the law can change from time to time. That was year 2000.

I know exactly what you're going thru N1K, as I went thru it 4 months ago with my 88 yr. old sister. She was further along in the disease than I ever imagined. I simply told her my nerves were getting very bad, and she did need to move to a place of her own. (a nursing home, but I didn't say it) She was infuriated with me, but I never spoke of it again, but went about my business looking for a place for her. She protested violently, but in the end a wonderful nurse from a home came for a visitation and revued her 3 times. She also took her to lunch and made a real friend to her, so my sister really trusted her. In the end the nurse even took her to the doctor for her entrance exam to the home (my sister doesn't believe in doctors). Also took her on a tour of the home, and introduced her to a lot of the staff, which made my sister feel very important. She even took her to lunch the day of the transfer to the home, while we took her clothes, etc. there. It couldn't have gone smoother. I had put myself under a lot of stress (and my family too) surrounding this issue. God does take care of us without a doubt, as he did once again. Now my sister thinks she has a job at the home, and they give her room and board:) After 3 months she's even getting a little more social. Physically she is OK, except for osteoarthritis in the back and dementia. It was really a miracle. Maybe you could just go visit a home on your own, as I did, and perhaps they can take it from there for you. There are wonderful, caring staff in these places.

cynical?

I am probably the same age or thereabout of the patients that many of you care for. I laugh at some of the comments, while others are very poignant and truly reflect the struggles that many of you have........All I can say is: Love comes first! Then, do unto them as you would have someone do unto you. Don't forget: They did not ask to become old and infirm, annoying, helpless, picky, unable to eat, walk, sleep properly, breathe safely, and least of all they did not ask to be cared for as they must be, now and at the hour of their death....Amen..

Is this my wall? Well! How 'bout that now!

That book tells a sad story which builds a very powerful case for new laws to equip us adult children caregivers to protect our elderly parents who because of various issues cannot be expected to file charges and testify anymore than we expect a child to .To do otherwise is like blaming the victim for not reporting the crime. I just need some help to write such a law up with the proper legal language to send to my state legislature and to congress.

HI,
When mom is a hoarder and this is my house, i do have the responsibility to her and my family to keep things orderly and clean. If I didn't do this, we would not be able to move. When she left her home, the builder who bought it told us to take only what we wanted. He demolished the house with all the junk in it. Believe me, it was a life saver!!!!!!!!!

Thank you very much for your time in answering my question.

I can't thank you enough for taking the time to resppond to my inquiry regarding "Aid and Attendance" for my mother. A rep from the VA concurred that I have to have care in place. I am going to provide the information suggested by Mr. Robbins and allow them to decide the case. I really have no other options....
We are trying our best, but our best just isn't cutting it. We have honestlyy exhausted our funds. It is sad that our government does not take care of those who are most in need.
Again thank you and I will keep you posted on the outcome.

Crowe: Of course Clinic Depression impacts behavior, but the patient can control that behavior. I have been told that they can feel it coming on. If this is true, then why not meet it head on, and control it as best as you can? (the patient, that is).