Claiming my mother as a dependent on Income Taxes.

If your sister is taking 24/7 care of your mom, pays all the bills and she claims all expenses including her social security, I think she can.
I think you all should consult a CPA for the best legal advice to this question.

A different perspective of this is, your sister is at your moms beck and call. She is the one that does all the cooking, cleaning, assisting of mom, grocery shopping, Dr. appointments, yard work, getting by on 3 hours of sleep, keeping mom entertained, and doing all of this while not being able to live her own life, so everyone can be comforted knowing that mom is being well cared for. Free rent is not really any compensation. I know as I live at my moms house. I also hold the deed for mom and she has a life estate. I do own my own home as well, and pay all utilities for both homes. I pay for her cell phone, and all her extras. This is no picnic. I can't talk to anyone without her asking what we are doing, who am I talking too, am I talking about her. I can't just be spontaneous anymore. If I want a sundae at 10 pm, tough. I can't leave because mom can not be left alone. I have to plan my entire life around her needs and wants. I have to assess her moods, trying to figure out if she is just in a bad mood, or has the dementia resurfaced. Are her meds still effective or do we need to re-assess them. I won't even go into the lack of intimacy with my husband, the lack of attending my children s events. Etc.

So, on behalf of the other full time caregivers "benefiting" from taking care of an aging parent, there is not enough money to cover all that we are giving up to attend to the needs of our parents. All we have is the warm fuzziness we get when our parents remember we are their children and give us a genuine smile and a big hug. I hope you get this upset over your moms care and condition and not just focus on money.

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Dearest Sanity:

Almost dropped my dentures after reading your comment. It was practical, objective, sensitive, and extremely supportive. Considering all the sacrifices you're still making it amazes me how you've managed to put your mind and heart in sync to avoid losing your marbles. (Well, not all of them.) Life is a constant learning process, so I'm looking forward to your future comments.

-- ED

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Well perhaps, you need to hear the full story....I too have been a caregiver for 4 people in my family. So you don't need to lecture me on that....I have moved 5 times in 2 years to accomodate the needs of my aging dying father, my mother when he died and for 2 years, and for my dying sister before those 2. In addition to that, I also took care of this sister...so pls. spare me the woes...I know all too well about them. Now let me share my sister and what she does.....BASICALLY ....ABSOLUTELY VERY DARN LITTLE!!!!! She is a Nurse, Wow...sounds great right? You would think she would clean the house....but guess what...she does nothing........once in a blue moon she will cook a meal. Yes, she works as a nurse in a State Run Nursing Home as a supervisor....makes plenty of money....and works every shift she can for the Money....when she gets home after working those shifts.....she sleeps all day long.....my mother hardly sees her. 2 years ago, shortly after moving in..My sister desides she needs another animal in the house, so she gets a yorkie terrior. She is never home to take care of the dog, so my 80 yr. old mother has to do it....they have 7 cats in the house, guess I probably don't need to tell you how the house smells. My mother has to clean the litter boxes, and makes sure the cats get fed. My sister gets paid twice a month....excellent pay, esp. after working all those double shifts....last year her yrly. income was 98,000 (we know because she has my husband do her taxes.) Funny though, 2 days after getting paid....she is always broke...and borrows more money from my mother to hold her over till her next pay day. Yes, when my mother has to go to the doctor, my sister takes her. My mother gives her money for the gas, ALWAYS PAYS FOR EVERY MEAL THEY EAT OUT......AND even gives my sister extra money for other things. 4 YEARS ago, after my dad dies...my husband and I lived with my mother for a year and a half....we renovated the house from top to bottom, had the wood floors all resanded, painted every room in the house, and cleaned up years of neglect. Now that my sister has moved back home....the house reaks of cat urine. Her pupply poops and pees all over the place. Yes, sorry....I do believe it is my sister benefitting in this case. WHAT would it cost her to have her own place? Rent, utilities, animal caregiver, someone to do her ironing, check to make sure the house doesn't burn down, due to her leaving cigarette butts up in her filthy room, etc., and to eat dinner out 2 to 3 times a week? PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ABOUT CAREGIVING....I HAVE DONE MANY, MANY TIMES, AND I BESIDES HAVE 2 DIVORCED DAUGHTERS, who have also needed our help, as well as grandchildren we have watched (with lots of love I might add) I make sure I have my mother with me as often as possible, and when she comes.......my husband makes breakfast for her every morning.....she gets to relax here, sleep as long she wants....and we completely dote on her. As my mothers power of attorney, I have seen to it that my mother has everything she needs and more, and if my mom would agree to it, I would have her move here. DON'T BE TOO QUICK TOO JUDGE ONE UNTIL YOU HEAR THE WHOLE STORY....I was just asking a question, and a valid one I might add. THANKS FOR NOTHING. By the way, my sister has enjoyed many vacations (transportation fully paid for by guess who?) HAWAII, NEW MEXICO, and is about to go on another 10 day cruise the end of April. I will be with my mom, while she goes. GO FIGURE........SURE wish MY HUSBAND AND I COULD afford to go away for a 10 day cruise.

You should call an attorney, the local area on aging and adult protective services. If you are POA that gives you the right to step in and question the living condition of your mom, it is your duty to do so.

As for the rest of what you said, your comment reeks more of resentment of money then cat urine. I stand by my comment. Feel free to disregard further commentary from me. God bless.

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God Bless you too.....Must be nice to be so "holy".....

Of course there is resentment...that my sister is so selfish, does nothing, takes more than she gives and that still is not enough ....however, sounded more like you resented your duties to your Mom much more. Can't have an ice cream at 10:00 because of Mom.....oh dear! But apparently you have time to sit on this thing......and JUDGE OTHERS. Obviously it is you who needs more than this site, you should contact a therapist to help you realize that you too one day will be old, and need help like your Mom. I only went on here, to ask 1 lousy question.

In all the time, I helped my 83 yr. old father, my dying sister, and my mom....I never complained about any of that. In fact, after sleeping in a chair in the hospital for my dad....he woke up one time at 4:00 in the morning...needing me to do something for him.....and he looked at me and said "gee its 4 am and I woke you up to help me and you have a smile on your face...thats wonderful!" I would not have changed one thing I ever did for any of them, and would do it over in a heartbeat, for I know one day I will be old, and always believed that I should treat someone the way I would wish to be treated. As for being resentful of money, that could not be any further from the truth. My big resentment is arrogance.....such as you have given in your last statement, and the arrogance of my Sister to allow my 80 yr. old mother to wait on her.