Bathing the Elderly

since we schedule doctors, visiting nurses, physical therapist, etc... on the calender, i would try using the calender a an appointment to shower..

Some senior centers and day care centers give showers. Also would using some nice smelling bath wash help and also make sure the room is warm-older people hate to be cold- is there a chair in the tub.

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I am having to deal with my parents in the assisted living facility not bathing. For my dad its an issue of the dementia. I found that he responds to notes, so he is getting easier to deal with when it comes to showering.

However, the real problem becomes mom. For her it is an issue of control. First I dealt with her starving herself (she went down to 74 lbs at 5' 2") and now that issue is done (meds are great). Now she won't shower, which absolutely floors me. She has been immaculate all her life and bathed all the time. Now its definitely out of spite she won't do it.

My mother in the past 6 months was admitted twice to geriatric psych and was diagnosed with "extreme severe depression". It was not because she was lacking, I had an attorney around, doctors, etc who diagnosed her as competent.... it was on purpose (not the depression). Every decision she made she was coherent to a certain level, but I had to give the "okay" she could make those decisions. Its weird. Mom still cannot admit that dad has Alzheimer's and it has made her daily life extremely difficult, and one that has left her totally out of control.... so now the control is down to bathing.

I went to go have a talk with mom because the assisted living kept calling me to talk to her and mom doesn't listen to me. Actually if I say anything, she digs her feet in harder not to do it. So I went to talk to mom and basically told her that the facility was getting an audit from the health department checking records and that she was marked down as not having one for months. Mom got ticked off with me, said a few nasty things and threw me out of her apartment.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. According to the geriatric psychiatrist, I'm supposed to give mom consequences for her behavior (one's I can live with), and now I'm having to play hard ball. I don't like it one iota.... but she's backed me into a corner. Anyone else have this kind of issue? As of this posting the nursing administrators believe she has taken a shower, but we're not sure how frequently they will happen. They want her to take one a week. Am I the only one that is ready to scream?

I'm screaming with you! I've just joined this group, wish I had found it 2 years ago! We care for my husband's parents. And the body odor is just about to make me sick. I can't get my husband to talk to his dad about taking a shower or at least putting on clean clothes. I don't want to embarrass the man, but when you can smell him coming...any suggestions?

The only thing that works with my mom is to tell her she is starting to STINK. She will go 4-5 days without a shower just because her dementia doesn't allow her to realize the days are passing. Hope that helps a little - Lira