When is it enough?

Posted in: Community Discussions » Respite

CARINGWIFE

Jun 22, 2008

My husband has gotten considerably less self-sufficient over the past year. He can no longer walk, his vision is almost entirely gone, he has a difficult time communicating and his short-term memory is bad. In recent weeks he has fallen so often making transfers that he no longer uses the bathroom but prefers a bed pan and he does not want me to bathe him because he is too tired, etc. I feel that I have reached the end of my rope, while I never wanted to put him in a nursing home I'm beginning to feel there is no other choice. Hospice comes in twice a week but it really isn't enough.

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SusanMyers

Jun 23, 2008
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Sweetheart I watched my step mother go through close to this with my dad. She could not get out of his sight before he would start to yelling for her. Even if she just need to go to the bath room. I would go and sit with him for her to go shopping for thier supplies. I would try to tell her to take her time. Do something for you while you are out. But she thought he might fight with me or just get upset. We all need time for us. When Hospice comes in do you leave the house for a while? Even if it is to just take a walk around the block, anything. My father was ill for a very long time. He was twice her size. When he fell, she could only put a pillow under his head and a blanket over him. When he felt as if he could help her get him up then they could do it. My heart goes out to you! It is very hard to have an adult baby on your hands.

In Christian Love,
Susan Myers

SusanMyers

Jun 26, 2008
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CARINGWIFE,

How are you doing? I hope a least a little bit better. Do not give up. I wish I could put my arms around you a give you a big hug. So concider yourselve hugged!

I will pray for you and your husband,
Susan
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Answers from our Experts

Is there an ideal time off (respite) for caregivers that I can show my sisters to help my case for getting time off?

I have never seen an official “Required Respite Time” statistic because of course there are so many factors and it’s very individual, but I would boil the need for respite down to this: As often as needed!

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