Asked a question 7/5/2008 at 11:02 am
My mother is 78 and has lived with me for 17 years. This is going to sound absolutely crazy to most of you and while I'm thankful for being in a situation that's still very workable, it remains frustr
...Read MoreMy mother is 78 and has lived with me for 17 years. This is going to sound absolutely crazy to most of you and while I'm thankful for being in a situation that's still very workable, it remains frustrating. Here's a little landscape: It's me, my mother and my 17 yo daughter who lives here. My daughter and I are very active and high energy, with lots of friends, I own two businesses and we both prefer to be gone a lot and active--golfing, theatre, whatever. Here's what happens DAILY that drives me nuts:
We invite my mother, she refuses to go anywhere or do anything and now it's to the point where she won't go even to lunch with us. She says repeatedly that she's happy taking care of us (and she does, all the laundry, cleaning, etc. for us) but I always say that's not enough. She needs friends. She needs to leave the house. She needs others.
She has hearing loss, a pending prolapse surgery, lots of deaths in family lately but swears she's not depressed. It's TV, books and one phone call a day from family who all live states away.
Tried taking her to the local elderly activities center which is awesome. she refuses. Says she doesn't like it. They go on trips, tours, she can volunteer. She won't go.
My daughter and I are at the point where we don't care to even include her anymore she's so stubborn on not going anywhere. I've tried to explain it puts guilt and unfair burden on us to worry about her. And we don't want to stay home and be bored all day, doing absolutely nothing. Don't want her to be alone but yet she won't join in or anything. Won't go to a picnic. Won't go to a movie. Won't go. No mental issues with her ever.
What can we do? How should we feel? What's going on really? Other than this she's active and reasonably healthy. I've even had personal trainer come to train her, she liked that but we cannot afford it any longer for any of us.
Sounds little probably but still driving me crazy.