Commented on a discussion 8/3/2008 at 11:11 pm
I'm in a situation where my (widowed) mother will only allow me to help her. She will not allow my 2 brothers or their wives to help. She depends on me for emotional support entirely. Five years ag
...Read MoreI'm in a situation where my (widowed) mother will only allow me to help her. She will not allow my 2 brothers or their wives to help. She depends on me for emotional support entirely. Five years ago, my husband and I moved to the same high rise condominium where she has lived for the last 30 years. It has made many things easier and I don't generally mind it, but when I try to tell my brothers what is really going on, they don't believe me because they never see what I see. When she speaks to them, she tells them everything is wonderful, that she's getting along well and never reveals anything to them. Mom is financially self-sufficient but emotionally overwrought since my father died 6 years ago. She has no social life, but that is her doing. She is not interested in relationships with other people/neighbors.
I placate her a lot. I don't tell her when she repeats the same scenario to me over and over because I don't want to upset her. I don't correct her when I know she's mistaken about something unless it's something that can cause her harm. She still drives (81 years old), sometimes better than others.
I don't know if I'm handling this situation in the right way for either her or me. My husband is very understanding fortunately.