Commented on a discussion 12/20/2008 at 3:57 pm
I am not sure that this is the right section for my comments but I hope so. I am having to take care of my mother, she has only got 20% function of her heart and any where for 10 % - 30% of several of
...Read MoreI am not sure that this is the right section for my comments but I hope so. I am having to take care of my mother, she has only got 20% function of her heart and any where for 10 % - 30% of several of her main arteries. She is not "with it" most of the time and when she is she is upset with me, as if I am the one that made her sick. She walked out of my life when I was 12 and did not come back into my life until a few years ago, I am now 52. I have tried to let the old feelings go but when she starts belittling me they all ome back. Over the last few months she has gotten very weak and not able to take care of herself at all. Her husband of 38 years walked out on her, with her pushing him away, 3 months ago. Until a month ago she was able to get around, she even worked part time to have extra money to buy the extra things she wanted. Now 2 weeks ago I took her to the hospital to have a pacemaker put in and they found that things are alot worse than they thought, and she has gone downhill real fast. They released her from the hospital with no plan of follow-up care, even thought I had told them I could not do it because my back is hurt, my health is not the greatest do to cronic pain and migrines, and I am raising my 10 year old grand daughter. I have had her for 10 years. I have no family here because I moved to the state where my husband has lived most of his life when we got married 3 years ago, which was a year and a half after my feiance died do to liver cancer, which I provided hospice care. I feel like I have been left out in the cold, in 20 feet of snow and I have no winter coat or a shovel to dig my way out. I am alone as far as her care goes because my husband has no clue what to do or even how to do any care. I am having to stay at my mother's house because we do nt hve the space in our home and I get to see my husband and grand daughter about 30 minutes a day when they come to my mothers to see me and her. I have a part time job that I can not work right now and that makes my problems worse because we live on a fixed budget when I don't work. I am angry, scarred and hurt. I don't know what to do or which way to turn. I find my self crying alot. and I am not one to cry. I feel lost. My mother is talking to people that have been dead for anywhere from 3 to 50 years, she is calling for toys that she had as a child, a young child. She is yelling "they are hurting me" "let go" "tell me the truth" and many other things. I am not sure what to do or how to handle this. I feel like I am wrong in my feelings and I have told my husband when all this is over I will need to go to counceling because of the things this is bringing up for me. (I coulkd go on and on but she is hollering again, so I need to close.) Thanks for being here ..... I just found you all.