Commented on a discussion 6/16/2010 at 2:21 pm
Dear Heather's Mom,
I just read your story regarding Heather. I hope I can give you some peace regarding God's attitude towards your daughter. I just read a book "The Misunderstood God" by Dari
...Read MoreDear Heather's Mom,
I just read your story regarding Heather. I hope I can give you some peace regarding God's attitude towards your daughter. I just read a book "The Misunderstood God" by Darin Hufford.. This book explains Gods nature and how He is a loving God. He does not punish. He surrounds us with loving arms. He understands our weaknesses. He loves us anyway. Whatever Heather was going through, God knew her heart. Please, don't worry about her now. She is in the loving arms of God.
I lost my son May 12th, about one month ago. Like you, I worried about him because he had a bad experience with religion as a teenager and h closed his heart to anything that had to do with religion and God. I have prayed for him to once again know Gods love. I do not believe that God caused him to die, it was a terrible accident. He choked on some food. However, because he did die, I know he now really knows Gods love and is surrounded by it.
I truly understand the emptiness you are feeling. I have a wonderful daughter in law that is raising my two Grandsons, so I can't relate to being left with two little children to raise. I know my son siblings and all my grandchildren are watching me as we all go through this grief process. I know I can not give up. I can grieve and have my private moments, but I must also take care of myself so they will not experience even more loss. It is difficult to do because I would rather stay in bed all day and shut off the world.
As far as your husband, my sons father died 12 years ago. He was very abusive and controlling. He used a belt often on my children. My son Rob would forget to take out the trash and his father would put him in the trash can as a punishment. My husband and I had several arguments regarding his abusiveness, but because I was submissive and "afraid of him" I never did anything to protect my children.
My son was a alcoholic and his wife and children have found several bottles and evidence that he was drinking a lot more than they thought. He had gone through rehab several times, but evidently, he could not overcome the illness of alcoholism. He is at peace now. I believe that with all my heart. I do not like the fact that he is not here on earth, but I can leave him in the arms of God and take care of the things I can do something about. I know this sounds like I am strong and have great faith. I am not. I just know that is my choice. It is healthy for me and my family. I need the support of other Mom's like me, that understand the grief of losing an adult child. It is so terrible. Unbelievable. I cry with you and feel your sorrow.
Please, feel free to write more and express your feelings.
It sounds like your husband is an alcoholic. That would explain some of the mean words that comes out of his mouth. If you can get information regarding alcoholics, and how to respond to them, it might help you. You have several issues going on at once. I have been seeking support because I can't go through this alone. I am glad you are asking for help. Please continue to find even more resources that can help you.
I would be glad to correspond with you.
May Gods love give you some peace and comfort,
Brenda