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Mary (rip)
Gender: Female
Location: Woodinville, WA
Dad is living with me, again, after losing my mother, his wife of 52 years, to Ovarian cancer in '97. Devastating! I miss her every moment..
I lost my very best friend, my MOM, first losing her spirit, then her life ... trying to laugh as we shaved her head so the falling chemo hair wouldn't suffocate her at night ..
Finding any food she could digest.
Trying to comprehend why this happened to her. Healthiest woman ever!
Mom was the original organic gardener. Prepared wonderful meals for Dad...Read More Dad is living with me, again, after losing my mother, his wife of 52 years, to Ovarian cancer in '97. Devastating! I miss her every moment..
I lost my very best friend, my MOM, first losing her spirit, then her life ... trying to laugh as we shaved her head so the falling chemo hair wouldn't suffocate her at night ..
Finding any food she could digest.
Trying to comprehend why this happened to her. Healthiest woman ever!
Mom was the original organic gardener. Prepared wonderful meals for Dad who had several hearat attacks. Lots of fish, vegetables, the right food.
A quiet disease claimed her instead.
The big heartbreak was that should have been diagnosed earlier!
It took months of degrading doctors appts before a lady doc did a pelvic & found the huge tumor.
The next day she was admitted to the hospital & they drained 2 litres of fluid from her lungs due to the growing cancer..
*One earlier doctor patted her on her frail back, laughed, suggesting she might be constipated. Arrogant, AH! That certainly wasn't her case. Dr. Nerd
We were referred to a great oncologist who did his best.
But we lost her.
We went thru every moment together, the best we could.
Dad's life changed - so did mine. Dad started power drinking. I did what I could.
My darling husband couldn't handle losing Mom, then my caring for Dad?
After major surgery * months of hospitals, Dad moved inta a nearby independent living apt. yet needed me often. Dependent man of his times.
Inconvenient for spouse.
so spouse took his tiny, convertible (mid-life) Mercedes, teen age kids who were a special part of our lives, & found a new direction. Motivated by image & financial wealth.
Found a nice home on a lake.
I wish him well.
He had been a great support for several years but I can't blame him. Losing Mom hurt us all deeply.
I was in a daze. Husband didn't like emotions so I held my sorrow in. No tears allowed.
Eldercare is a frightening job! He had other fine qualities which now take him around the globe.
Fast forward ~
So here I am online, meeting people in similar situations, with aging Dad upstairs waiting for another snack or cup of coffee as the animals gather around us.
We are pals. I feel lucky to have him here.
It's a different life, quite isolating & very stifling.
Our life, which I take full responsibility for.
Good times ... & some really awful times.
We are good room mates & the cats love him!
So do I.
Cheers ~
Rip
I am caring for my father, Sir & Pets, who is 92 years old, living at my home and the primary ailment is general age-related decline.
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