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momneedshelp

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AgingCareTeam gave a hug 11/1/2010 at 1:39 pm

Happy National Family Caregivers Month!

National Family Caregivers month is about honoring yourself as one of the 65 million family caregivers in this country who take care of their loved o ...Read More

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anonymous11306 gave a hug 3/6/2010 at 11:50 pm

God bless!

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arose4yu gave a hug 2/4/2010 at 2:59 pm

I've been there with my sister and we are still learning along the way so if I can help out anyway I can it makes me happy!

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delsberry commented 1/28/2010 at 7:42 pm

i wish i had a daughter like you. my children seem to feel i can handle everything and don't seem to realize how alone i feel without company. i wish i knew your mother we have a lot in common

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mizunderstood10 commented 1/1/2010 at 10:19 pm

Hang in there. You're not alone. I love this site so much. It really helps. :)

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SecretSister gave a hug 1/1/2010 at 3:21 pm

Thanks for your message on my wall. Hoping you have a blessed 2010!

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mizunderstood10 gave a hug 12/31/2009 at 11:34 pm

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anonymous11306 gave a hug 12/31/2009 at 9:52 pm

Thanks for the hug. You certainly have your hands full. I just recently was put back on Wellbutrin which I had been taking with Lamictal.

Our youngest son, 17, was diagnosed with bipolar I ...Read More

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momneedshelp posted 12/31/2009 at 8:05 pm

Thank you all for your knowledge and advice. I really appreciate the encouragement and hugs.

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Carol Bradley Bursack gave a hug 12/30/2009 at 4:21 pm

Lots of hugs back to you. Please do seek help (see my answer). Blessings,
Carol

anonymous11306 commented 11/10/2009 at 2:17 am

Thanks for the hug. Yes, I know that I'm not alone. It does feel rather alone as an only child, but I also feel alone sometimes because of being disabled with a mental illness along with feeling forgo ...Read More

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SecretSister gave a hug 11/3/2009 at 12:08 pm

Hello there, after reading your post about wanting help for your Mom, just wanted to send you a hug and a prayer. Bless your heart. Hope you find the help you and she needs.

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brandiJ commented 10/13/2009 at 12:16 pm

Yes there is a lot they can help with.

The ONLY thing a Vet has to do is contact the Veterans Administration on the net at www.military.com or call the Department of Veterans Affairs at V ...Read More

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HELPINGHAND gave a hug 10/12/2009 at 10:57 am

Hello, Yes you can find assistance for your parent. Contact information is available on the VA website. My father served and they provided a plot at a VA cemetary. Other expense coverage maybe availab ...Read More

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Answered a question 10/13/2011 at 12:05 pm

How will I ever stop crying watching my mom suffer?

I know what you are going through. When you love someone as much as you do. I too along with my brother have that kind of bond with our mother, I have cried so many times thinking about her. I look at ...Read More

Gave a hug to jeannegibbs 6/21/2011 at 2:22 pm

Thank you very much for your support and advise. You were very helpful.

Sincerely,

Sarah

Answered a question 6/21/2011 at 2:17 pm

How do I walk away emotionally and physically from the stress of caregiving for my controlling dad?

Thank you very much for your support. Most days I have become to feel I don't deserve to be happy. I feel actually guilty to be happy when I know my mother isn't. It is a constant suffering
...Read More

Asked a question 6/21/2011 at 11:05 am

How do I walk away emotionally and physically from the stress of caregiving for my controlling dad?

Hello, I am a mother of a child with Tourettes Syndrome who I homeschool because of the severity. I also have a father who has had three strokes and my mother who lives with him and cares for him.

They are divorced though! My mother has suffered greatly from his abusiveness moslty mental. She also has a son who has been very abusive into drugs and now is clean but is very effected from the abuse of using all those years.

He is very mentally controlling and he and I have had several incidences to the point of him trying to harm me. My mother doesn't want to acknowledge this as much and just wants us to get along. I am nor have I been a drug user, alcohol consumption user

. So my wits and mentality are still here. My problem is now my mother almost past away from an Upper GI bleed. She was in ICU for a week. I went to clean the house for her while she was gone so it would be nice for her to come home to. I was so upset and angry all at once.

I washed layers of smoke off of every item I could. I cleaned and I cleaned. My father soaks his bed like a minature lake every monring and throws his urinated clothes on the carpet. It smells bad. I cannot stand to be in this smoke haven

. I also have child to care for and I do not live close. My mother tells me that she cannot put my dad in a home because she depends on his check to live. I tried to get VA home health care in and she denied it saying she was embarrassed about the condition of the home but she was to weak to clean it.

So, my dad is not eligible for home health care for a year now. He needs to be in a home he is not clean nor is the surroundings. I have asked my mother to come live with us.

She doesn't want to she says I guess to my brother that I am to stressing. I wonder why! She will not do anything to help herself. So now I am left with the guilt of trying not to care, but it doesn't work it keeps me up at night.

I am not getting frustrated with my child and I never do that. I am depressed and I just want to know is it okay for me to walk away emotionally and physcially from this. I cannot help this situation and my sibling is so controlling and mentally off that I don;t know what else to do to.

I need to stay healthy and survive for my son and my husband. I have tried to hard to do what I can and nothing helps it. I don't even want to go back to that house anymore and I cannot bring my son due to the large amounts of smoke by all three of them.

Thank you for listening any advice would sure be appreciated. Sarah

Gave a hug to vstefans 10/28/2010 at 10:09 am

Thank you so very much for your kind words. You couldn't have described my situation any better. It is just good to know that someone out there understands. My mother doesn't realize that her actions ...Read More

Asked a question 10/27/2010 at 7:20 pm

How to deal with mothers depression?

Can you please tell me how is the best way to deal with depression when it comes to your mother. My mother looks so awful and she is 72. She looks so sad. She has every reason to be depressed though. ...Read More

Asked a question 10/27/2010 at 7:03 pm

How do reverse mortgages work for Veterans?

Hello, It's been awhile since I have been here. I am coming back to hopefully get more good advice. This site is very helpful and has very good people. My mother is wondering how she would go about ge ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 10/10/2010 at 5:22 pm

Unhealthy living and depression

It is very difficult to watch. I can hardly stand going to my parents house anymore. My parents used to have a lovely home, my mother was the one of the cleanest mothers around. Now they both smoke li ...Read More

Gave a hug to RalphRobbinsCFP 10/10/2010 at 4:48 pm

Thank you very much for responding to my question. It is really nice to get real, and expert advise from someone who knows what the in's and out's of Veterans benefits.

Gave a hug to pamela6148 4/8/2010 at 7:00 pm

Sorry Pam I saw your wall, you have a lot on your plate. It just doesn't seem fair to loose our people who have loved us all these years and we them back to watch them decline. I don't know the answer ...Read More

Asked a question 4/8/2010 at 6:52 pm

Can anyone tell me what are the options for my brother who was diagnosed with Lung cancer and works but has no health insurance? Thank you.

Gave a hug to arose4yu 2/4/2010 at 12:45 pm

Thank you arose4u, I didn't know that such a loop existed. I am just now learning the whole confusing Medicare mess. I appreciate your knowledge.

Commented on a discussion 2/3/2010 at 7:22 pm

Checklist for Times When You Need Respite Care

How much does it costs for respite care?

Asked a question 2/3/2010 at 6:59 pm

Why did my father’s prescription cost go up?

Wrote on benthomp's wall 1/23/2010 at 4:56 pm

Thanks for your message. Medicaid is not a option. But thanks anyway. We sow what we reap! Have a good day!

Answered a question 1/22/2010 at 6:35 pm

How do you get an elder into a nursing home; can a doctor be the one to put the patient in the nursing home?

Thank you Carol,

I am so new to any of this kind of planning, so I appreciate the wisdom of those who know better. Thanks again. Sarah

Gave a hug to delsberry 1/22/2010 at 12:05 pm

Dear delsberry,

I know your situation because my mother is in the same boat. My father has had several strokes and his right side is effected along with his speech. My mother who has always ...Read More

Asked a question 1/22/2010 at 6:20 am

How do you get an elder into a nursing home; can a doctor be the one to put the patient in the nursing home?

if there is no one to care for them and they cannot live on their own? How does the bill get paid?

Asked a question 1/22/2010 at 6:06 am

What should I do with my father who can no longer take care of himself if there is no one who can go live with and take care of him?

Can you please tell me what to do with my father? My mother and he are divorced, she was taking care of him, but now she has to come and live with me. He is in his home and he cannot take care of hims ...Read More

Commented on a discussion 1/21/2010 at 4:15 pm

VA Benefits for Veterans and Their Caregivers

How do you claim caregiver expenses as "countable income" if your mother is caring for your father and they are divorced. She is his POA also. She hasn't taken a direct amount for herself for caring for him.
...Read More

Asked a question 1/21/2010 at 2:50 pm

How do I get my parent into a Nursing Home?

How to go about getting your parent into a nursing home. What do I do first. Do I apply for Medicaid since there is no assets except for the house?

Answered a question 1/20/2010 at 11:37 am

Where can I obtain a copy of my father's Military Discharge papers?

Thank you for responding. We have tried to call them and they never answer the phone. We are going to go there, but we were hoping to get everything ready beforehand. Thanks again. Sarah

Asked a question 1/19/2010 at 6:00 pm

Where can I obtain a copy of my father's Military Discharge papers?

Asked a question 1/19/2010 at 5:47 pm

How should my mother answer the "assisted living" expense question for her ex-husband who is a Veteran?

The form asks for a amount for his care giver expense to calculate the 'countable income"
She has been caring for him herself for over a year now.
...Read More

Commented on a discussion 1/19/2010 at 5:39 pm

VA Benefits for Veterans and Their Caregivers

Can you please tell me how my mother who has been taking care of her ex-husband my father, would go about answering the questions for the "countable income" for care givers expense.
...Read More

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