Answered a question 2/5/2010 at 2:56 pm
I am currently the primary caregiver for my 93yr old mother. Until May of last year when my sister was diagnosed with Lymphoma and needed surgery and chemo, she and I shared this responsibility. Mom
...Read MoreI am currently the primary caregiver for my 93yr old mother. Until May of last year when my sister was diagnosed with Lymphoma and needed surgery and chemo, she and I shared this responsibility. Mom lives in my home with my husband and I. She has severe Artial Stenosis, a colostomy bag due to an Ileostomy more than 50 yrs ago, and suffers from the beginning stages of Dementia. Two and a half yrs ago she fell and fractured her right shoulder. Because of severe osteoporosis, the bone was not able to be set or pinned and was left to heal on its own. Within a couple of days of the fall she experienced a stroke, (we are thinking due to the fall/shock of the broken shoulder) and now has muscle atrophy in the right hand, she will need surgery the to release the nails from digging into the palm of her hand. It is easy to see that she is certainly not able to care for herself at all. We get no financial assistance, but we do have a semi-electric bed (which Medicare paid for)to make it easier to move her, but she needs to be lifted, walked, and laid down when she gets in and out of bed. We purchased a lift chair for her living room to make it easier for us. I don't know if everything we do for her is how outside medical personnel would be doing it, but we are doing it to the best of our ability. I am sure that if the decision had been made to place her in a facility rather than keep her home, she would not be here today. The depression alone of being away from us would have done her in.
My husband, although not able to bathe and dress her, helps to lift her, get her in and out of her transport chair when there are appts. and make meals for the three of us if I am busy with her. I couldn't ask for a more supportive person. It is overwhelming, it is tiring, and sometimes so emotional that I ask myself, "why"? But then I look at her sitting in HER living room, visiting with her great grandchildren in the surroundings that are HER personal surroundings and answer, "because it was right".
I am not saying that it is right for everyone, but it was the decision we needed to make. It is a promise I will not go back on and with my husband by my side and the support of this community, I know it is something I will continue to do until she no longer needs me.