Commented on a discussion 3/10/2010 at 9:12 pm
I have an 'almost' exact situation going on (heart surgery, the works)... however, my MIL is not abusive, just manipulative... She leaves her dishes in the sink to be put in the dishwasher by someone
...Read MoreI have an 'almost' exact situation going on (heart surgery, the works)... however, my MIL is not abusive, just manipulative... She leaves her dishes in the sink to be put in the dishwasher by someone else, she stays in her room ALL day and watches TV only to scuttle out to get food and returns right back to her room with her meal, she says that the doctor and the therapists told her to expect a 6-12 month recovery!! (I don't think I can make it that long) but according to experienced nurses we know, 6-8 weeks should be plenty! She is not helping herself at all. She can drive herself to the doctors and ALWAYS stops at Wendys or wherever to get something to eat and drink and even the grocery store to buy herself 'private' food items that we're not willing to pay $6/bottle for, yet she won't walk for exercise. She complains about therapy and how hard it is, complains about how hard it is to climb stairs (because we'd like her to move up there and out of the front room where people enter the house!) yet, she's walking the grocery store, getting in and out of a car, walking to therapy, etc. Yet she says she's 'not ready' to move upstairs'. Also, she won't help around the house, AT ALL- no dishes, no cooking, no nothing... She's also been saying mean things to me... 'jabbing' comments about taking personal time away from home, about how the people from MY High school probably aren't doing as well as my husband and I are, about how WONDERFUL of a husband I have and I should feel lucky, etc.. I finally stopped doing anything extra to help her. I gave her a laundry basket and told her where to find the extra supplies, we eat dinner and let her know she's welcome (which she hardly does because she eats in front of her TV in her room!), and I just don't treat her like she's sick anymore- because she's not. She's depressed and she needs help. I have her seeing a therapist at least and I hope that'll help- but 6 more months... I don't think I can take it! Thank goodness I have a therapist myself! (now there's some good advice- get a therapist for yourself- someone who will listen and understand completely). My husband listens, but he is the son... he feels guilty too. So do it for yourself girl!