Commented on a discussion 1/27/2010 at 1:46 pm
CNichols - I thought it sounded like alz. because of the confusion and memory loss. As far as remembering over and over the things she has accused you of, they can also get obsessed on one thought or
...Read MoreCNichols - I thought it sounded like alz. because of the confusion and memory loss. As far as remembering over and over the things she has accused you of, they can also get obsessed on one thought or one activity, etc. My grandmother (mom's mother) had alz. She was always the sweetest lady, but began accusing her family of stealing money from her purse and feeling like people (family) 'were against her. They will also ask the same things over and over and tell you the same things over and over. I've done alot of research on dementia/alz because of my dad. His started with trouble recalling words when he was telling stories and it slowly got worse and worse. Drs. thought it was the start of alz. Finally the neurologist said he had Aphasia (difficulty with speech & communication). We finally had a "word" to call his illness besides my word.... "nightmare". Aphasia is usually caused by a stroke or brain injury, but in his case it was how his dementia started. We took him to an aphasia specialist in chicago. They said he did have aphasia and other cognitive difficulties and possibly it was the start of alz. although it isn't "typically" how alz. starts. It took a couple of years before the neurologist said he doesn't think it is alz. My dad's memory doesn't seem to be effected like alz. patients. My dad probably has "frontotemporal dementia". It has effected his speech, communication, executive functions (abilty to process & complete activities) and now is incontinent. (That's the worst of it all - guess the part of the brain that tells you to go to the bathroom just quit working.) He seems to know who we are and understand alot of what we say to him, but he only says a few words now. A neurologist can help determine what area of the brain is damaged and as you said - it will help you know what behaviors, etc. to expect. Drs. say you can never know for sure unless you do an autopsy when they pass away. What ever the name of the dementia it is all very sad to watch someone you love go through this and difficult for every one involved. My poor mom helped take care of my grandmother and went to the nursing home daily until she died. Now she has to care for my dad too. I try to understand that this is probably why she is angry and has a hard time accepting this. Someone else mentioned hospice care in the posts. They do cover alz./dementia patients now. They will come and assist them with showers/bathing up to 3 times a week. They assisgn a social worker who helps manage the situation and makes recommendations on what to do and how to handle things. They have a nurse come once a week or more if needed to check vital signs and work as liason between patient and their dr. A Chaplain comes every couple of weeks to talk to the family and pray together. They order any supplies needed for the patient, etc. This is all covered my medicare. If they won't put her on hospice, she should qualify for "home health care". We don't even say the word hospice to my dad - we didn't want him to think he was about to die. Now patients can be put on hospice and it doesn't mean it is the last days of their life. I'm glad your mom is checking into home health -it a start. You can call the agencies in your moms area and discuss your situation and they can give you good advise on your options. Another idea is assisted living. We finally just moved both of my parents into a companion suite, so my mom and their little dog oscar can live there too. It is a lock down facility so my dad can't wander off,(wandering is another thing to be concerned about with your mom) but my mom can come and go as she pleases. The first couple of weeks have been a little crazy, but I'm hoping they will both be happy there. It took alot of persuading to convince my mom to do this, but she finally agreed. (Many conversation over the last year) You do not have to sign a contract, so it is month to month. We convinced her to try it and we kept her house for right now, in case they want to move back home. They seem to be settling in well and it is like a small community. They all help each other and keep an eye on each other and you have 24 hour staff to help when you need it. You also have privacy in the apartment where at home my mom had caregivers for my dad there all day long and that drove her crazy too. they are getting 3 meals a day and the food is pretty good. I told mom I may check on myself an apartment - 3 meals a day, laundry, house cleaning, etc. Sounds pretty good to me. I'm glad someone started facilities like these, because it is so different from "nursing homes" long ago. You can get alot of information on the alzheimer's association web site or call them and they are very helpful and nice. Thank god we have professionals experienced with this because it just kind of blindsides you. I'm sure it's even harder being so far away. I'm 70 miles from my parents and even that is a challenge. Thank goodness I have a brother & sister in her town. Will keep you and all families dealing with this in my prayers. Take care and let me know how things are going.