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Will nursing homes typically accept patients that have been aggressive, because now assis living won't. Does it have to be a state facility? Dr. trying to regulate meds. thanks for the info.
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Will nursing homes typically accept patients that have been aggressive, because now assis living won't. Does it have to be a state facility? Dr. trying to regulate meds. thanks for the info.
Cindy

I know first hand how medications can adversely effect someone. My dad has "dementia" and his doctor asked my mom if she had problems with him being aggressive or agitated. She said yes sometimes sh ...Read More

I know first hand how medications can adversely effect someone. My dad has "dementia" and his doctor asked my mom if she had problems with him being aggressive or agitated. She said yes sometimes she did. Actually, my dad does was not "aggressive" or "agitated" - I would describe it as "uncooperative" and confused. With my mom answering the question this way, the dr. prescribed Risperdone.

I went to visit them and my dad was in a stupor. He could hardly get up by himself and could not feed himself. I didn't realize he was on new meds until my mom, as an after thought, wondered if it might be the new meds he started 4 or 5 days prior. I looked Risperdone up on the internet to find out what kind of medicine it was. It is an anti-psychoic that is used for schizophrenia, bi-polar and severe autism. Some doctors do use Risperdone for dementia patients, but there are many studies that show it can make the condition & symptoms worse for dementia patients.

My mom stopped giving him the Risperodone and made a follow up appt with the doctor a few days later. My dad got a little better and more coherent being off the meds for a few days, but was still not back to his previous condition. At the dr. visit my mom told him what had happened so he prescribed Geodon. I looked this up on the internet and it is the same type of drug as Risperodone, but a different name. I begged my mom not to start the meds, but she does everything the doctor says without question.

Within several days on the Geodon he was totally in a stupor again and was like an invalid. We contacted the doctor and thank god he then said to take him off of the Geodon. I explained to him that my dad was not getting aggressive with my mom that he sometimes did not cooperate. (My mom I think is hoping for a magic pill that will make him act normal again. Wish we had one!!!!)

After a week off of the meds, my dad was still like an invalid. My mom had to purchase a lift recliner, we had to install bars all over the house, we had to add rails to all of the exit doors and my mom was unable to get my dad in or out of the house alone. At this point, the doctor said that it probably wasn't the medication that his disease must have progressed rapidly. They had never seen anyone progress this quickly, but everyone is different. They had us call in hospice at this point. Needless to say this was very heartbreaking!!

FINALLY after 15 days off of the medicine, I called the caregiver to check on him and she said he was walking around looking for my mom because she went to the store. I said you mean you are helping him walk and she said no he is walking on his own. From that day forward he continued to improve until he was back to the condition he was in before starting the medication. It was very scary and thank god we figured out it was the medication. If not, I believe he would have been in an invalid state until he died. I wonder how many people this has happened to!!!

From this point on, me or my siblings have been to all doctor appointments and keep a close watch on all of their medications. I truly believe in managing your own health care and your families because doctors do not know everything. If you do everything they say without question - it can have very serious consequences.

CNichols - I thought it sounded like alz. because of the confusion and memory loss. As far as remembering over and over the things she has accused you of, they can also get obsessed on one thought or ...Read More

CNichols - I thought it sounded like alz. because of the confusion and memory loss. As far as remembering over and over the things she has accused you of, they can also get obsessed on one thought or one activity, etc. My grandmother (mom's mother) had alz. She was always the sweetest lady, but began accusing her family of stealing money from her purse and feeling like people (family) 'were against her. They will also ask the same things over and over and tell you the same things over and over. I've done alot of research on dementia/alz because of my dad. His started with trouble recalling words when he was telling stories and it slowly got worse and worse. Drs. thought it was the start of alz. Finally the neurologist said he had Aphasia (difficulty with speech & communication). We finally had a "word" to call his illness besides my word.... "nightmare". Aphasia is usually caused by a stroke or brain injury, but in his case it was how his dementia started. We took him to an aphasia specialist in chicago. They said he did have aphasia and other cognitive difficulties and possibly it was the start of alz. although it isn't "typically" how alz. starts. It took a couple of years before the neurologist said he doesn't think it is alz. My dad's memory doesn't seem to be effected like alz. patients. My dad probably has "frontotemporal dementia". It has effected his speech, communication, executive functions (abilty to process & complete activities) and now is incontinent. (That's the worst of it all - guess the part of the brain that tells you to go to the bathroom just quit working.) He seems to know who we are and understand alot of what we say to him, but he only says a few words now. A neurologist can help determine what area of the brain is damaged and as you said - it will help you know what behaviors, etc. to expect. Drs. say you can never know for sure unless you do an autopsy when they pass away. What ever the name of the dementia it is all very sad to watch someone you love go through this and difficult for every one involved. My poor mom helped take care of my grandmother and went to the nursing home daily until she died. Now she has to care for my dad too. I try to understand that this is probably why she is angry and has a hard time accepting this. Someone else mentioned hospice care in the posts. They do cover alz./dementia patients now. They will come and assist them with showers/bathing up to 3 times a week. They assisgn a social worker who helps manage the situation and makes recommendations on what to do and how to handle things. They have a nurse come once a week or more if needed to check vital signs and work as liason between patient and their dr. A Chaplain comes every couple of weeks to talk to the family and pray together. They order any supplies needed for the patient, etc. This is all covered my medicare. If they won't put her on hospice, she should qualify for "home health care". We don't even say the word hospice to my dad - we didn't want him to think he was about to die. Now patients can be put on hospice and it doesn't mean it is the last days of their life. I'm glad your mom is checking into home health -it a start. You can call the agencies in your moms area and discuss your situation and they can give you good advise on your options. Another idea is assisted living. We finally just moved both of my parents into a companion suite, so my mom and their little dog oscar can live there too. It is a lock down facility so my dad can't wander off,(wandering is another thing to be concerned about with your mom) but my mom can come and go as she pleases. The first couple of weeks have been a little crazy, but I'm hoping they will both be happy there. It took alot of persuading to convince my mom to do this, but she finally agreed. (Many conversation over the last year) You do not have to sign a contract, so it is month to month. We convinced her to try it and we kept her house for right now, in case they want to move back home. They seem to be settling in well and it is like a small community. They all help each other and keep an eye on each other and you have 24 hour staff to help when you need it. You also have privacy in the apartment where at home my mom had caregivers for my dad there all day long and that drove her crazy too. they are getting 3 meals a day and the food is pretty good. I told mom I may check on myself an apartment - 3 meals a day, laundry, house cleaning, etc. Sounds pretty good to me. I'm glad someone started facilities like these, because it is so different from "nursing homes" long ago. You can get alot of information on the alzheimer's association web site or call them and they are very helpful and nice. Thank god we have professionals experienced with this because it just kind of blindsides you. I'm sure it's even harder being so far away. I'm 70 miles from my parents and even that is a challenge. Thank goodness I have a brother & sister in her town. Will keep you and all families dealing with this in my prayers. Take care and let me know how things are going.

I agree that when I was reading your details, the first thing I thought of was that your mom has alz. This has got to be difficult with her not going to drs., etc. Maybe you could contact a "home he ...Read More

I agree that when I was reading your details, the first thing I thought of was that your mom has alz. This has got to be difficult with her not going to drs., etc. Maybe you could contact a "home health care agency". This is usually covered by medicare. They will provide a social worker, nurse, and a "caregiver" to help with baths, etc, if needed. At least they can probably send you in the right direction for assistance. Even if you have to tell a "white lie" to get someone in her home to assess the situation.... it is worth doing it to get outside help. As far as your feelings being hurt - mine would be too, but remind yourself that this has got to be some kind of medical problem causing this. Take one day at a time and keep looking for resources to help you deal with this. I'm a daughter trying to navigate through this dementia "nightmare". - My dad has dementia that is different from alz. too. I always say it doesn's matter what name you give it - it is still a nightmare. my mom has always been very caring, but I think with my Dad she is in denial or something. Now that me and my siblings have finally accepted and figured out how to deal with my dad's illness. We are still trying to figure out how to deal with my mom. There are 4 kids and we do everything possible plus have outside help and she still can't deal with it. She doesn't like our advise and does the exact opposite of what we say, but at least she doesn't get real ugly about it. We can't figure out how to help her to accept his illness and deal with it positively. Maybe it helps us knowing that other people are dealing with similar situations. My thoughts & prayers are with you!!!

I can definitely relate to your situation. My mom is angry & frustrated about my dads dementia. I don't think she is stressed out about being a caregiver because we have had a caregiver in their hom ...Read More

I can definitely relate to your situation. My mom is angry & frustrated about my dads dementia. I don't think she is stressed out about being a caregiver because we have had a caregiver in their home from 9a - 7:30p.m. seven days a week. She stresses out and starts screaming when she has to get him in bed after the caregiver leaves. If the caregiver stays till 9p.m. to get them in bed, she stays up until 10p.m. and then cries and melts down when she has difficulty getting him in bed. I think she is angry about her life and angry about the condition of her spouse. My parents had a great 50+ year marriage. I'm am frustrated with her behavior because it is totally not typical of how my mom used to be. Don't know how to help her accept this and make the best of a very bad situtation... There are 4 of us kids plus now they are in assisted living and she still makes things harder than they have to be. She is more of a problem than my dad now. This is stressful to us kids because my dad's situation was hard enough to accept and try to manage, now my mom is having "issues". Hope it helps to know that your mom isn't the only one acting that way.