K. Gabriel Heiser

Hi: That's really outside my expertise as an attorney. Perhaps some of the other experts or visitors on this site can offer you more advice/thoughts of what to do.

Hello,
Could you perhaps weigh in on my post-"my mother thinks she is perfectly able to live alone"?

Hi, dln: It's true that the will ignores what went on before your father died. However, there is nothing that prevents you from tallying up your gas costs and getting reimbursed after your parents die, IF you can get a legal agreement to that effect signed by them. If not, your trips are deemed made "for love and affection" and you can't later claim you want to be reimbursed out of the estate. Of course, I am not licensed as an attorney in your state, so to be sure, you'd need to run your situation by an attorney.

hi, my sister and I have been taking care of my parents for 3 years.They have been put in a nursing home and we sre the sitters (to avoid cost) i drive 163 miles roulnd trip everyday and have found no organization to even help with gas in the will my dad has put if any money is left to devide it equally amongst the children 3 girls the third sister says she does'nt hve time for the family then she said when a will is read i will be there we just buried my father last week and now we are beginning to wonder of she has no resonsibility at all but can still get her share?

Hi, Sabrina: Once your mother is qualified for Medicaid coverage and the nursing home has admitted her as a Medicaid patient, then all they need to receive from your mother is her SSI check; Medicaid should be paying everything beyond that. If the nursing home is seeking more money from you, you will need to contact your state's Human Services Department, I'm afraid.

Hi again, and thank you for your quick response!
Actually my mom does have medicaid, I talked with the administrator/admissions person, and they said they would have to have an aditional 315 a month if I do respite care ( letting her stay there about every 2 weeks) and if I choose to keep her there it will be more monthly ( they will also want to recieve her ssi check(maybe$ 600--all but $60 ) So I am thinking, that is not medicaid paying for all of it. How do I insist on having medicaid take care of this....

Hi, Sabrina: It's true that MediCARE won't cover the nursing home of your mother without a hospital stay first, but MediCAID WILL cover her. You need to apply immediately; ask the social worker at the nursing home for assistance. If they can't assist, then call your state's Human Services Department to find out what you need to do to apply on behalf of your mother. It sounds to me like she should qualify immediately. Good luck!!

Hello Mr. Heiser,
I am Sabrina aka Bree. My mother is a 82 year old dementia/alzheimer patient and for over a year now I have been the victim. The victim of severe emotional/verbal abuse... I am her only family , her only child. At 42 I have overcome tremendous odds. Surviving illnessthat left me with depression and disabilities. So as you can imagine the toll of my mothers illness has affect my health very negatively.I have gotten all the legal work done. Power of Attorney, Living will, medical power of attorney...and managed to find a nursing home for my mother. It has been a tortureous decision, but one I have made.

I have been helped greatly by many people here offering their advice and support.

I am very interested in buying your book on medicaid secrets...but i am so strapped for cash now...I can not even buy a used copy. Our small town libray doesnt have it... so I humbly ask the author for any advice he is willing to give a weak , frustrated, shadow of a person ....that needs it asap.

SITUATION: My mom has nothing. We both own a small 1980's trailer we live in...its worthless.
She has nosavings, no bank account, no nothing.
Only medicaid/medicare.
and a monthly ssi check and ss check both totallying together less than $800 a month.
The nursing home administrator says, MEDICARE WILL NOT HELP, BECAUSE IT WOULD HAVE TO BE A HOSPITAL STAY first.
And momz isnt coming from the Hospital to them.
Medicaid will pay part....I will have to pay an additional 300- 500 a month to put momz there.

OK MY QUESTION IS... If medicaid IS SUPPOSED TO PAY ALL THE COSTS IF A PERSON IS CLOSE TO PENNILESS, HOW DO I MAKE THEM?!!
Is there something, a form, a law, something I can show the admissions people to get my momz totally covered?

I will greatly appreciate any advice you are will ing to give me...
I thank you even if you cant...
GOD BLESS!
Bree

I HAVE POA, HEALTH CARE PROXY, LETTERS FROM DOCTORS SAYING MY 97 YR OLD FATHER AND 89 YR OLD MOTHER HAVE DEMENTIA. IT IS GETTING VERY BAD, AND I AM NOW LOOKING FOR FACILITIES THAT WOULD BE IN THEIR BEST INTEREST AND CARE. I HAVE 3 SIBLINGS WHO NEVER, EVER SHOWED ANY INTEREST OR CONCERN FOR MY MOTHER AND HER HUSBAND OF 21 YRS. MY PARENTS MOVED FROM N.Y. CLOSER TO ME, 3 MINUTES AWAY, WHICH WAS THEIR WISHES. I AGREED, AND DID IT ALL. SOLD THE HOUSE IN N.Y., WITH MULTITUDE OF PROBLEMS, BOUGHT A BEAUTIFUL CONDO IN THEIR BEHALF, AND AGAIN DID IT ALL WITH JUST THE HELP OF MY HUSBAND. NEVER EVEN GOT A PHONE CALL AS TO HOW CAN I HELP. NOW, MY SIBLINGS ARE GETTING INVOLVED, IE, TAKING THEM TO AN ELDER LAW ATTORNEY TO GET THEIR WILLS CHANGES, WHICH I HAVE NO PROBLEM. WOULD HAVE DONE IT MYSELF, AND TOLD MY MOTHER THAT, BUT SHE CALLED MY OLDEST BROTHER WHO LIVES IN GEORGIA, AND TOLD HIM I DON'T KNOW WHAT. MY MOTHER HAS FRONTROL LOBE DEMENTIA, AND GETTING WORSE AND WORSE. PARANOIA, AGITATION, ACCUSATION, CALLING ME ALL SORTS OF NAME ETC. BECAUSE OF THE POA, AND LETTERS FROM THE DOCTORS, THEY ARE NOT OF SOUND MIND AND BODY TO DO WHATEVER IT WAS THAT MY SIBLINGS WERE LOOKING FOR. THERE IS NO COMMUNICATION BETWEEN US, SO IN ORDER TO KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON, I RETAINED MY OWN LAWYER. HE MOST RECENTLY TOLD ME THAT MY THE LAWYER WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HIS CLIENTS, HAS WRITTEN UP A LETTER OF INTENT IN THEIR BEHALF. WHAT DOES THIS LETTER OF INTENT MEAN OR COULD MEAN IN RESPECT TO ME AND MY PARENTS. WHAT WOULD BE THE REASON FOR THIS. MUCH, MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY, BUT THOUGHT I WOULD ASK. THANK YOU

Thank you for responding to my parent's "annuity" question!