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Should Your Loved One Continue Living at Home?

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Rebecca and her husband live 500 miles away from her 82-year-old mother, who is suffering from early signs of Alzheimer’s Disease and chronic arthritis. She worries about her safety, but upon questioning her mother, the answer is always the same: “Everything is fine. Stop worrying.”

Then one day, while at work, Rebecca received a phone call from a hospital social worker. Her mother fell down the stairs, broke her hip and was hospitalized. Rebecca’s mother insisted it could happen to anyone, and that she was perfectly safe at home and able to take care of herself.

It’s a common scenario, says Pamela Braun, MSW, LCSW, CPF, of Geriatric Assessment, Management & Solutions (www.gamsllc.samsbiz.com). When questioned about their situation and needs, an elderly person may mask the truth from family members says often the adult children find out what’s truly going on from a third party – such as the hospital or a neighbor.

Home represents familiar comforts, self-sufficiency and privacy. That’s why the prospect of moving out, into a relative’s home, or an assisted living facility, is one of the most difficult decisions a person must make in their lifetime. Often, rational decisions take a back seat to an emotional choice.

In situations like this, the difficult task of determining whether the elderly person can safely remain at home, must be addressed.  A care manager is a professional who specializes in assisting older people and their families with long-term care arrangements and can conduct a thorough assessment to determine if the elderly person is physically and mentally able to continue living safely at home.

Braun says letting the elderly person remain at home is the “least invasive intervention” and can be successful. “When people move out the home, it’s usually when Plan A – remaining at home – didn’t work. Try the least restrictive approach first.”

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patty said
Oct 17, 2007

I vividly recall my grandmother almost burning the house down by leaving a tea kettle boiling on the stove. But there was no extra money around to provide a live-in caregiver while everyone was at work. She did not seem "ill" enough for a home -- simply becoming more forgetful and suffering the effects of aging. What do you do?

atillman said
Jun 4, 2008

my mother in law's home is dirty, packed with stuff (hoarder), she has rats want let the pest control guy come in, doesn't see the doctors often enough, unable to cook much due to oxygen (when she comes to our home we can't cook on top of the stove either because she can't breathe good. Her memory is bad and she is not able to pump her own gas for her vehicle, she is unable to buy her own groceries, take out her own trash.

atillman said
Jun 4, 2008

I don't think anyone will help or listen until the woman is dead or severely injured. It's almost to the point that no one actually even cares about her. My mother in law thinks I'm her enemy but all I want for her is to live in a clean environment, have good meals, see doctors regularly, and have friends to share with daily. What do I do?

halfdead said
Jan 20, 2009

i see a lot of these forums online. there is some interesting content, but no real help with anything. seems to be just people complaining to each other, which i suppose is some temporary relief. it seems to be more of a waste of time than anything else. you can't make them move into a home. you can't take care of them without giving up your entire life. so, what can you do?

Anne said
Jan 20, 2009

There are answers. Talk to their Physician and seek his/her help. There's always the Department of Human Services. You can anonymously report neglect. Call local Senior Service centers, ask for a Social Worker, who can provide you with resources. There are answers, but be prepared for lots of work, time, and no cooperation from your family member. Keep good records of your observations. If they are a treat to themselves or others, take action. If we don't help someone who can't help themselves, who will? I did, and it's hard, but there are answers. A

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