Reveive your free Custom Care Guide

Let us put together a care guide personalized with the best information on how to care for your elderly loved one.

Stay Informed

Receive weekly AgingCare updates directly to your inbox.

Speaking to elderly parents the right way

Text Size

Speak distinctly.

Some older adults do not like to admit that they cannot hear or understand the conversation around them.  The higher pitch of women’s voices may be a problem for older adults; consciously think to lower the voice pitch. Remain calm and talk in a gentle, matter-of-fact way, keep sentences short and simple, focusing on one idea at a time.

Don’t condescend.

Make sure your attempt to “turn up the volume” and slow down your speaking patterns doesn’t come across as condescending. Even if your parent suffers from dementia or extreme hearing loss, don’t speak to them as you speak to a child. Patronizing is a sure way to start an argument.

(1 to 5 of 13)

Missybu said
Jun 23, 2010

Great advice about communicating with the elderly!

Missy

reagor said
Jun 23, 2010

I am wondering how to respond when my mother says she has been places, seen movies, done things I know she has never done. This is happening a lot lately. I am wondering if it makes her feel more secure to think that current experiences are not new? At first I challenged her but I am not doing that as much lately; there is some eye-rolling among my husband, our 11-year-old son, and me. Our son is definitely noticing the behavior.

IsabelCares said
Jun 23, 2010

Thanks for a terrific article and reminders of respect in aging care.

IsabelCares said
Jun 23, 2010

reagor, how is your Mom's health otherwise? If it is a new symptom for her, it may be good to alert her doctor. If it is not a new symptom and it causes no harm, I agree with your not challenging what she has to say. If you do challenge, her will feel a need to save face which is reasonable. One thing you might consider is asking her whether she would like to do whatever it is she may be talking about having done, or asking her what she enjoyed the most about the experience she has just shared with you. Ask her what she likes about movies, etc., and whether she would enjoy a home movie night, or going out to select a movie rental with you one day. Also ask her if she could go on a day trip, where would she enjoy going. If she opens up, it may help. It's hard for us when we know differently, but challenging seldom solves anything, in my experience only. If she is becoming confused, remind your husband and son that it happens and compassion goes a long way.

IsabelCares said
Jun 23, 2010

Sorry, was trying to say, If you do challenge her, she will feel a need to save face which is reasonable.

Add Your Comment

Only helpful tips, support, and guidance should be entered here.


Must-Read Articles

Sibling Issues Can Get Heated During the Holidays

An Addition to Your Caregiving Team: Your Parent's Grandchildren

Getting Your Siblings to Help With Caregiving

Men as Caregivers

The Sandwich Generation: What It Is and How to Cope

Ask AgingCare - Get Answers from the real experts...other caregivers

Provide additional details 140 Characters Left

Meet our Elder Care Expert

 
Aging Parents and Elder Care Expert

GabrielHeiser

K. Gabriel Heiser

Attorney, author, Medicaid asset protection planning
Antioch, Tennnessee

K. Gabriel Heiser is an attorney with over 25 years experience in elder law and estate planning. Heiser is the author of "How to Protect Your Family's Assets from Devastating Nursing Home Costs: Medicaid Secrets," an annually updated practical guide for the layperson.

Read this Expert's Bio »

Stay Informed

Sign up to receive weekly updates from AgingCare directly to your inbox.

The material of this web site is provided for informational purposes only. AgingCare.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment; or legal, financial or any other professional services advice. Use of this site is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
©2010 MediaBrains Inc. All rights reserved.