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Caregivers’ Perspectives on Annual Conference for Seniors

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When AARP held its annual conference, more than 25,000 seniors attended, many of whom are over 50 themselves and caring for an elderly parent.

AgingCare caught up with a few caregivers at the event, and asked them to share their caregiving experiences, as well as their thoughts on the AARP conference.

Brenda Sheldon
Caring for 72-year-old mother
La Mesa, California

When Brenda’s father died suddenly of a heart attack three years ago, her mother was left to deal with the couple’s finances, a task she had never done in her entire life. “Dad took care of everything that had to do with money. Mom didn’t know what accounts they had…she’d never even balanced their checkbook. After dad died, I was really worried about my mom’s finances.”

When Brenda stepped in to help, she quickly realized that the situation was worse than she thought. Her father had done practically nothing to prepare for their old age. “I am worried that my mother is going to run out of money. She has a mortgage, car payment and other bills, and she is not in the best health. I’m wondering if she ends up in a nursing home, who is going to pay for it?”

Brenda attended the AARP conference looking for answers. “I need to help my mother as much as I can. There’s no one else to do it. And this experience also opened my eyes to the fact that I need to do much more in planning my own financial future. I’m here to help my mom with her finances and also plan my own future.”

Next page: Another caregiver story.

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Irishtwin said
Nov 11, 2009

My 86 year old mom lives with me in PA for the past 7 years. My sister and brother live 400 miles away and do not communicate at all. I pleaded with them to call at least once a week just so mom does not feel like she was "sent" away.

I accepted this caregiving arrangement thinking it would bring us all closer and they would come and visit. This happens rarely and tensions are always high. My brother is Executor and bullies us with this. I have taken over her medical care because she was left to suffer for 9 months with jaw pain which turned out to be angina this happened in their care and when she returned she needed multiple stints. My siblings never approved of this and never approved of us taking her to Hawaii to see her grandchildren perform in their HS band. We took her anyway and she had a great time. We paid for her trip but they do not want her to enjoy life. Her quality of Life has improved so much since her doctors in PA took over.

What I wanted to know is this. Caregiving for my is fine. It is the Sibling Rivalry and games that are demoralizing and exhausting. Does AARP have an Advocacy Program for people like me. My mom has AARP and I would appreciate any advice as to the protection for caregivers against passive aggression and mental abuse. I am sure I am not alone but do not know where to turn. With Thanksgiving coming up, I just had another dispute as to our visiting with mom, etc. Please send feedback. Mom is calling, gotta go...........

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