Sex and death. It’s odd that those two topics should bring so much anxiety to parents and children. But, there you have it. One – sex – is about the beginning of life. The other – death – is about the end. Both are a part of the life cycle but if anything sex is easier for many to discuss than death.
I’ve found in my experience that it isn’t always the elders who shy away from end-of-life talks. Some do, of course, but many would like to discuss the arrangements they’ve made for finances, as well as their opinions about what measures they would want taken if they needed someone to make their decisions, however the adult children often find excuses to put off that particular “talk.”
Few of us like to consider the fact that our parents will die. However they will. Nothing will change that fact. Good medical care, solid healthful habits, a pleasant social life – all of these may extend our years, but in the end, we will die.
With this in mind, it is to everyone’s advantage to discuss the details at as early a stage as possible. As I told my kids when I had my own legal papers drawn up, “Let’s do all of this and then get on with the business of living.” We did just that, and while my sons didn’t find the prospect of my death fun to talk about, they dutifully listened to what I had drawn up and where I keep my papers.
Whether it is the adult children or the parents who don’t want to have the talk, this is something that needs to be done. So, how to start?