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Planning for a move to assisted living

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Although no family wants to put their aging parents into an assisted living facility, it is necessary when the elderly person can no longer be cared for at home.

Making the move isn’t easy. Here are some tips that can help caregivers and their elderly parents.

Plan ahead. Take the time to thoroughly research options. Finding the right care facility ensures you choose the right one for your parent’s needs.

Expect waiting lists. Allow time to move up the lengthy waiting list that many good facilities have.

Visit often. Call and visit often during the first few weeks. When the new surroundings are unfamiliar, seeing a family member can do wonders for raising spirits and making the transition easier. It also helps your parents realize that aren’t going to be forgotten in their new home.

Make it feel like home. One of the hardest things for your parent is parting with all of those things he or she has accumulated over a lifetime. Make the room feel as much like home as possible. Bring along your elderly parent’s family photos, a favorite chair and footstool, a familiar bedspread, and treasured knickknacks. Check with the facility’s rule on bringing personal items.

Organize. Make sure your aging parents know where things are. Your aging parents will feel much more in control of their environment when it is easy for them to find what they are looking for. Organize the closets and invest in storage solutions such as baskets or bins.

Make friends. Mom or Dad needs social connections – particularly if they still have full mental capacity. Introduce your parents to other residents – and ask the staff to do the same. Read the activity schedule and choose two or three programs that your parent can attend early on to meet your neighbors and other residents.

Stay positive. It’s hard for adult children to see parents moving out of their childhood home and into an “old folks” home. In caregivers mind, the move represents “the end is near” for their aging parents. Even though you might feel these emotions, do not show them in front of your parent. The transition is very emotional for them, and they need positive reinforcement and support.

Moving your elderly parent into an assisted living facility is never easy, but it can be made less painful for caregivers, family and most importantly, the elder.

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Stuck said
Jul 5, 2010

Tell me, when your parent will not follow medicaications, insists of driving, has nastly uncalled for emothional explosions..has not bathed inweeks( and is pecapable of doing so)only does exactly what she want shewants to do and it is getting to the point where I have lost control. I ended it up in the er the other night with artial fibrillation the othe r night and it tood the m 4 hours to get me back to normal. Is it time to look at assisted living? She still has money to spend down and it has not yet been 5 years since we bought the house from her. I.m not sure I can take her willfullness much longer. I am the Ough here.

Stuck said
Jul 5, 2010

I will find your blog...I had nor seen your ecomment. thankyou!

IsabelCares said
Jul 5, 2010

Stuck, sorry you are going through such an ordeal. Planning and everything else is important. Your sharing shows that real-life circumstances will always prevail. Sometimes you are doing everything you can as a caregiver by just treading water. When that is happening, the bigger picture view is overwhelming. Ask your elder's doctor or another professional you trust for help. Just look at one thing you can do that might improve your life even a little bit. Sometimes its respite care, whether its a friend, another family member, a neighbor, or paid respite care. When you have the energy, if you feel up to it, visit an assisted living facility by yourself, or with someone else you trust along to support you. Don't feel like you need to rush anything, or accomplish an endless list of tasks, ok?

Stuck said
Jul 6, 2010

It s not constant...the outbursts and acusations with such venom...thing is you never know when the other shore wiill, drop...fell like i am being controlled be her anger...sooooofunnnnnnnn sweet otherwise, Can Not discusse a thing without the retrpution you feel to come and know it will. Qll I know is this is not going to work for me. I love allthe sweet things you guys talk about....nauta..nauta works....when if it seems so for a while...she will think of something to change the picture and how we are screwing her. I am just so tired an do not want a repeat of the vascula fibbillution (really bad irrgular abd irregular heart beat)at the er ever again...scared the shii....out o me...cause I am a healthy person? I thought.i am on sedatives tonight ...can't spell dick so pls ignore. thanks!!!

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