Music, if it’s the kind your elder likes, can be healing and powerful. I kept a CD player in my dad’s room. He loved big band music. I kept him supplied with new CDs that were easy to find online. He loved the music on his better days. He even would “direct” the orchestra, much to the puzzlement of strangers walking by his room and loving amusement of the nursing home staff. On days when he couldn’t respond, music would still play as he lay there. It seemed to help him relax.
Some people enjoy being read to. You could find your dad’s favorite books and read chapter by chapter, depending on his level of enjoyment. If he loves the Bible, you could read his favorite verses. Whether or not he comprehends isn’t all that important. Does he seem content? Maybe the sound of your voice is all that matters.
Contentment is what we are looking for here. Never forget how vulnerable this person is and that it is your responsibility to monitor the person’s body language. Chances are you’ll find that you have some memorable moments with your elder if you put your mind to it. Careful, light massage with a pleasing lotion or oil, holding a hand, reading, singing, playing music, praying aloud – all of these things will add quality to your visit. It definitely beats sitting there watching the clock and wondering if you are just wasting your time with the visit.
For over twenty years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Carol created a portable support group – the book “Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories.” Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs.com,
include helpful resources as well as links to direct support.. Carol’s newspaper column, “Minding Our Elders,” runs weekly, she speaks at many caregiver workshops and conferences and has been interviewed by national radio, newspapers and magazines. Carol is the moderator of the AgingCare.com forum.