Every caregiver has a family history. Some of that history may be unpleasant, disappointing or even abusive. Neglect, abuse and addiction leave lasting scars. Moving beyond the past is never easy. But what happens when someone in your family becomes ill or incapacitated and you are called upon to care for them? What is your responsibility, based on their past treatment of you? How do you take care of your parents or spouse when they didn't take good care of you – and in fact may done have you harm?
Many caregivers struggle with the huge responsibility when it is suddenly – and usually unexpectedly – thrust upon them. They are in a quandary, because they know society thinks they should care for their parents or spouse. Some of them have religious issues about “honoring their parents,” no matter what. However, many feel that they just cannot give the emotional and physical care their family member needs.
If you are caring for an elderly family member, but feeling resentment and anger about their past actions, remember, healing can happen when emotionally destroyed families find a way to forgive. If you would like to let go of anger and forgive, but are stumped with the question of how to forgive, here are tips that might help.