An Addition to Your Caregiving Team: Your Parent's Grandchildren

This is a great article. Sadly my mother suffers from Alzheimers disease and my sister feels that her two sons would be at a deficit to spend time with her. Her attitude has split our family apart because I think mom would benefit greatly from the interaction. Kids are much more forgiving that older folks. So basically, she keeps the kids away from mom and when they are in her presence she limits their exposure. Her first son was extremely close to mom as mom spent the first 5 years of his life babysitting while my sister, a single mom, went to work. It was very painful when mom left the state he was in to come back home. The youngest son is very close to my sister. The oldest, once lively, funny and vibrant is now very introverted and at 10 gives just one word answers to my sister. What are your thoughts about kids and elderly with memory problems?

Good morning, catchphrase!

I'm Len Hansen, the researcher/writer of this feature. Active interaction between grandparents and grandchildren can and should be beneficial to both older and younger. Unless your Mom is seriously advanced into Alzheimer's Disease, the interaction should help her recall and actually slow memory loss.

If the child or children can "teach" computer and Internet to your Mom, according to new research, this will also be positive in her memory retention. Plus, the experience for the child will be most positive as he/she has the "teaching" or "assisting" role.

And, very importantly, the hugs your Mom receives from each of the children will be one of the greatest gifts and and event/experience your Mom will enjoy, await and delight in. Such, too, can be most beneficial to her health and memory.

I really recommend that each child, as I wrote in this feature, will gain from the positive experience today and in future memory.

I thank you for your endorsement of this feature. I recommend your and your sister's most positive consideration and decision to add your Mom's grandchildren to her caregiving team.

Len Hansen
BellinghamOne

I absolutely agree that grandchildren should be an integral part of the caregiving team. My daughter (now 31) and my son (now 26) have been helping take care of my mom since their early teen years. They not only help keep her young and have her constantly laughing, they also help with bathing, diaper changes, preparing meals, escorting to doctor's appointments, etc. They share information with her and she encourages them to expand their experiences. They have helped her learn how to use the computer/internet and other current technology gadgets. They also help keep an eye on the visiting nursing staff and make sure her care is appropriately given. I don't know what I would do without them! I am the youngest of two daughters and my sister has yet to help in the care of my mother in the last eleven years. It's her loss...we will have such sweet memories of our times together. My mother is totally bed-ridden, but we still have good times together -- even if she has to go to the hospital. We all gather in her room and watch tv together or just talk and laugh. It's great!

I encourage anyone who is hesitant to get the grandchildren involved to "just do it!" What a rich experience your children will have -- not to mention the impact on the grandparent being cared for.

Lauren

Lauren!

I commend you.

You and your parent's grandchildren have discovered the great and even magical relationship between grandparents and their grandchildren.

Your children have probably gained greatly by their involvement and assist to their grandparents while rewarding your parents with remarkable times with their grandchildren.

I'm Len Hansen, author of this feature, also a grandparent, also a caregiver.

Thanks for being a subscriber to AgingCare.com.

Len

Leonard J. Hansen
Journalist, Author and Speaker
Bellingham, Washington

** Leonard J. Hansen is the nation's expert journalist and author in writing and editing to, for and about active and affluent mature adults plus travel for mature adults. Now available for assignments. Access his website to learn more: www.lenhansen.com

We have been taking our son with us everywhere we go ever since he was a baby. His grandparents love the fire out of him, and he has mutual affection for them. At first Grandpa was in his own home. Then he went to Assisted Living, then to a nursing home. Grandpa plays checkers with his grandson, and last year taught him chess. Every week we went to a church service at the nursing home, and his grandson played piano before the services. Then his other grandpa went to a nursing home. The first was downstate, so we only saw him a couple times a month, but would go and play cards and other games with him. Then we'd go inside and his grandson would play piano for the whole nursing home. Grandpa would say, "That's my grandson!" Not only is he a blessing to his grandpa, but to the others as well. Now they both live in the same nursing home, in the same room. Two grandpas at once-that's really something! Our son always takes along a toy to show the grandpas, and we always play some kind of games together. Unfortunately, one has dementia, and the other, Advanced Stage Alzheimer's, so what we can do with them is limited. One is almost entirely bedridden. If his grandson gets close enough to him, he will reach out to tickle him. We walked in yesterday, and the other was walking around showing all the nurses pictures we'd taken over the years of grandpa holding is grandson as a baby, then a 1 year old, etc. There's a picture of him riding on a sled that grandpa built, and a bow randpa made him. He loves to show off his handiwork and the pictures of he and his grandson. I, as Mom am photographer, and take pictures of them playing cards, etc. It's a testimony for Grandpa, and happy memories for his grandson. When there are activities there, the grandson plays piano for everyone. The grandpas are in decline, but have a bright spot in their very special grandson. He is a blessing to every one who sees him there, staff included. The residents want to hug him, talk to him, and smile at him. And he wants to go and spend time there. We have all been blessed by this wonderful little 8 year old and the involvement with the grandpas, and he will have memories of his grandpas being proud of him, and how he touched the lives of everyone there. We live 4 minutes away and visit about every day. While it's hard to see them decline, it sure is a joy to see them smile when we visit, and maybe have a little fun. We all have wonderful memories and will never have regrets.