Helping our aging parents requires special skills and talents. Several hints may be useful in surviving the eldercare challenge.
Consider what it is like to be old. Most seniors experience a series of losses during their later years and are trying desperately to stay in control of themselves and their environment. Letting others help feels to them like giving away control of things.
“My way” is likely to be the only way (especially for older men) in facing any kind of transition. A plan that appears to be his idea is more appealing to him (and therefore more likely to get implemented) than one that you believe is in his best interest.
Pick your battles. Most elderly face multiple challenges as a result of growing older. The most common include mobility limitations, decreased stamina, living alone and memory problems. You will need to prioritize the issues you want to address and hope for small victories.
Try not to force changes unless absolutely necessary. If mom’s house is not as clean as it always was, decide if that pose a safety hazard or if it is about the daughter’s own standards for cleanliness. Maybe getting the grab bars installed in the shower is a better issue to address.