Reveive your free Custom Care Guide

Let us put together a care guide personalized with the best information on how to care for your elderly loved one.

Stay Informed

Receive weekly AgingCare updates directly to your inbox.

Why “Role Reversal” and Other Catch Phrases Can Skew a Caregiver’s Thinking

Bookmark and Share
Text Size
 
 

You had to take away the car keys. It was quite a battle, and he’s still mad. You have to remind her to use the bathroom often, or she’ll have an accident, and she’s embarrassed. You had to cut up the credit card that was being used aimlessly and often.  Are these people you are guiding your children or teenagers? No, they are your parents.

Does this mean you are now “parenting your parents?” Is this what they mean by “role reversal? Well, yes and no.

“Parenting your parents” and “role reversal” are phrases that are now in vogue. They make quick sound bites for interviews. They make great titles for books (I nearly named Minding Our Elders “Role Reversal,” but saw it was already being used too often. Fortunately, after much musing, I came to my senses.)

I have found that I have a real issue with these phrases. I understand the use, as people immediately “get” the meaning. Oh, your parents are in decline and you have to make their decisions and maybe even change their diapers. They nod. They sympathize. You have become your parents’ parent. You have switched roles with them. Or have you?

Part 1 of 3
Bookmark and Share

Comments (1 to 3 of 3)

DWYC said
Jan 26, 2008

You are so right. Thanks Carol.

floridagreeters said
Feb 7, 2008

Good Perspective. I have trouble with the terminology of role reversals also. I look forward to reading more about my evolving caregiver status. I also wish to hear from Males taking care of their Mother's who like in my case have never had children. Thanks!

Cheesecake said
2 days ago

amen! great thoughts! discovered very quickly about the "sense of loss" my mother must have felt when she first came to live with me 4 yrs ago with beginning stages of dementia and all the frustrations and anger (on both parts)-the flipping back and forth between being a "child" and being "an adult" (re. to her mental capabilities) and then her treating me as her "child" and then treating me as an adult----CRAZY!!!!

Add Your Comment

Please stay on topic or start a new discussion. Only helpful tips, support, and guidance should be entered here.


Must-Read Articles

How Caregivers Can Stay Positive During the Holidays: Drop the Fantasy, Lose the Guilt

The Power of Stories for Caregivers and Their Elders

Caring for Parents Who Didn't Care for You

Caregiving and Guilt: The Wisdom of Hindsight

Complementary Therapies: Reiki for Seniors

Ask AgingCare - Get Answers from the real experts...other caregivers

Provide additional details 140 Characters Left

Meet our Elder Care Expert

 
Aging Parents and Elder Care Expert

GailSamaha

Gail M. Samaha

Elder Care Planning Consultant, Speaker and Website Creator
Massachusetts

Gail M. Samaha is the founder of GMS Associates. She is a successful management consultant who from her own personal experience along with her background as a hospice volunteer and 30 years of business management , created an elder care planning division for elders and caregivers and trusted advisors.

Read this Expert's Bio »

Stay Informed

Sign up to receive weekly updates from AgingCare directly to your inbox.

The material of this web site is provided for informational purposes only. AgingCare.com does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment; or legal, financial or any other professional services advice. Use of this site is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
©2010 MediaBrains Inc. All rights reserved.