Dealing with Alzheimer's Disease: Tips for Caregivers

I am the caregiver for my aunt who has been diagnosed with alzheimers. Sometimes she can remember things from the past as if it were yesterday. All she does is complain about aches and pains. She refuses to use her walker and has fallen several times. I try to explain to her that she needs to use the walker or she may fall and break her leg or hip, she refuses to listen to my uncle or myself. She is always saying she can't give up, but she does nothing but create more work for me. I'm sorry for sounding off, but sometimes I think she does everything she can to get attention and contro everyone. She refuses to go to a senior citizen day care program. It's her way or no way. Any suggestions?

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Loretta, i am the 24/7 caregiver for my mom, who is 90. she hasnt actually been diagnosed with alzheimers disease, but i feel that she does have it. She will start to tell me something and forget mid sentence what she is talking about. she has forgotten names of people who have lived down the street from her for 40 years.
She has 5 grandsons, she confuses each one with the other. And on top of all of this, she does the exact same thing as your aunt, in that she will not use the walker, although she is quite unsteady, says she doesnt need it. Yes, my mom does the same on control. and she is very hateful in her way of talking to me. She does not want to go to sr. citizens lunches or to church or anywhere, unless i go with her, and sometimes i dont need to go with her everywhere she goes. And, she cant go with me everywhere i go either. one more thing that she does that drives me out of my mind, is she goes thru drawers, takes everything out, puts it back in, maybe in the drawer below, then the next day, she will be changing it all again. This has been going on for months, it is all i can do to keep from screaming, STOP THE MADNESS. but i dont. no advice, just to let you know you are not alone in this problem.

I also know the headaches and heartaches of being a primary caregiver (24/7). I however, have the luxury of having a wonderful friend who will come and sit with my Grandfather while I run errands. My mom said something that I try to keep in mind as much as possible. "He (my Grandfather) is still in the same body, but he doesn't behave the way you expect him to because he ISN'T THE SAME." I also have had difficulty with remembering that some of the things he does he doesn't do on purpose, he does them because his mind is gone. He has Alzheimers Disease and I believe that he is in the last stage. This is from my research on the subject.
Every night when I put him to bed, I tell him that I love him and he sometimes suprises me by responding that he loves me too, but those times are getting fewer and farther between because of the loss of speaking ability.
Being a caregiver is a totally mind bending responsibility and I never would have thought I could handle it, but I promised my Grandmother when she was dying that I would take care of Grandpa and no matter what it takes I will do it! Some days it takes everything!!!!

I am changing my life soon. In 2 weeks my son who is 10 and I will be moving back to my hometown to live with my mom and step father. My mom has alzheimer's and is a diabetic, my step father has parkinsons. So I feel it is my duty to help take care of them. I am reading up on both of there diseases so I can be as much help as I can. I know it will be a challage for me, and I would love any advice, comments, or just anything that will help with this move.

Myfather had parkinsons and I know exactly what you are facing. I prayed mine would not ever reach the point of not being able to talk or swallow but he did and it was extremely hard for allof us. He did end up in a nursing home as we could not sacrifice our mother for him, and we were not yet retired at that point and could not take care of him daily. Mom did visit him every single day in the nurisng home and my sister and I went to see him at least each of us once a week and on the weekend. He had reached the point where he fell easily and had a difficult time speaking when he went tothe nursing home. It took two nurses to get him to the bathroom. There are special chairs to raise them up and to a walking position which social security can help to pay for and special spoons or forks for them to use to eat as they have a difficult time handling the forks and spoons. They have difficulty chewing and swallowing so they eat slowly. We avoided a nursing home as long as we could but as I said reached the point where we had no choice. It takes a lot of patience and love. I wish you the very best. JR