Today was the day for getting guardianship of my mom.

Morrigan why did you get guardianship? My mom just lives with me,,,, and I handle all of her affairs for her. Is there something I am missing? She has no assets, except for her reverse mortg home which we are trying to sell, to pay her debts off with.

Hi, JoAnneSS

I have always had POA but mom may go into a nursing home next year. Nursing homes would probably take all her assets so I need to buy her house and have her accounts and IRA put into my name. Mom does have a good monthly SS payment so that will go into paying the nursing home. Also the guardianship will most likely do away with having to go through probate when she passes. I was divorced last January, left with virtually nothing, and need this house. Since your mom has no assets then you are probably just fine the way you are. Mom lost all her ability to take care of her finances a couple of years ago.

Hi Morrigan:

Thank you for your reply, it was informative. I thought any exchange of asset would be accountable for 5 yrs prior to placement. Well, it sounds like you have it under control. Good luck with that. I know how divorces go,,,,,,, starting over is tough. I've been a widow for 14 yrs.... still havnt started over. Who has time? My Mom is in beginning stages, or maybe even in the middle,,,, I dont know, I just know it is a 15 hour a day job, and I am exhausted with the fighting, arguing, cooking,,,,,, I thought when all my kids left, I was free...... no way. Well, I hope you have wonderful Christmas,,,,, its probably near the end of sharing with our Mothers as we know them. I'll miss her as I knew her. She isnt the same anymore, it is lonely.

Congratulations!! Embarrassing though,,,,, My mom embarrasses me when we go out. She hits on men, and I feel like crawling into a hole. Well, atleast your Mom, solidified your claim for you.

Morrigan,

I am not certain if you understand what a court appointed guardianship is. You might want to check with an expert on this site, but what you said about needing to have a guardianship to put assets and house in your name might not have been what you meant - so forgive me if it wasn't - but if a court deems her incapacitated enough to need a guardian, that guardian can't transfer all the assets to herself in the anticipation of avoiding future nursing home expenses.

It isn't about you, or how much you have struggled (as we all have and will continue to), it is about how the legal system has protections in place to balance powers of guardians / conservators. Take care, but seriously read your documents, and check with the lawyer or the accredited experts on this board. You can put yourself in alot of hot water if you don't understand the rules.

Morrigan,
It is difficult in many ways to be responsible for ones parent. I manage my fathers affairs since he became incapable of doing so. As far as I know you can not transfer your parents assets into your name without being at risk of legal ramifications for elder abuse.
Is there a reason why your moms assets should not be used to pay for her care? If her assets don't, who does?
My father has apx. the same assets as your mother and I am so thankful he does. He worked hard all his life for the assets and now those funds are being spent on him to provide the best possible care he can afford (full time home care at the moment, and it is costly. The money wont last forever). Sure I'd like to preserve his assets for myself. It would make my life easier. But it doesn't belong to me.
Be careful you do not do anything you have not researched and found at least legally sound.

Hi, Annlidiot

I appreciate your comments. This is a Guardian/Conservatorship. It was explained to me that once this is in effect it would be as if my mother and I were one person. I was also told that I can purchase her house, etc, legally. I do not know if this differs from state to state. I have no intention of putting mom in a NH until I cannot possibly care for her any more. She still walks very well and does not need toileting, however, her other personal hygiene is slipping. Since I had to quit dancing to take care of her, my back has gone severely downhill and have to take pain medication to handle it. I will thoroughly peruse the documents once I get them and I will let you know.

Thank you for your concern and please continue to caution and advise. :)