Time to kick her to the curb.
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My mother has been narcissistic, mean and nasty life long. I cared for her for out of duty for four hellish years. Now in a NH her journey down looney toon alley is outta sight - calling me screaming and getting me into a stroke/heart attack situation. I will visit, ensure she has all she needs and attend to her financis but I'm kicking her to the curb.
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Feb 13, 2014
I understand, Ashlynne. She is cared for, so you've done all you can do. It is time for you to try to start enjoying your life again. Hugs to you.
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Fair enough. We need an "Approved" stamp icon to slap on posts, here...
Changed my phone #, made it unlisted, advised the NH with a warning never to give it to madam.
dementia or not the sob who comes to remove me from my hill is going out feet first. ill eat hay, just leave me alone.
And I'm sobbing my heart out tonight, after 60 years of hell, because I've changed my phone number and, tomorrow, if she's lucid, we'll have it out and I will walk away, I don't know why this grieves me so much. She knocked me about and put me in hospital when I was 6 and she was the mother from hell always.
Tomorrow I will confront her, if she's not in looney tunes mode, and walk away.
Or you could stay away for a few days, Ashlynne. She may like you more if she worries she's lost you? Just an idea.
Ashlynn, Hugs to you. May you find the right words to express yourself and may your Mom actually listen. And if she doesn't , which she probably won't, :( come back on here and let it out.
So sorry for your tears.
Ash, confront your pain, but mom won't even know what you are talking about or remember. Walk away and go home and shit in her favorite chair or something. Vent here, that must help you. Come one girl, just spit it out.
Feb 14, 2014
I met with the NH Admin today and we decided to fib. When my mother tries to call and gets "no longer in service" the staff will tell her my phone is out of order. Next time I visit and she asks I'm going to say I rarely use it so I'm just using my cell now but there's no point in her having the number because I only have it on when I want to call someone. I guess it takes a while for the number to change as she called me this afternoon and her only problem was that she'd received a greeting card this morning and someone stole it. She's at the stage she'll believe fibs.
Ashlynne, your mother will settle in quickly I hope, but that's (forgive me) not what I'm really interested in. What strikes me is that YOU need time to adjust, too, to the relief of not having her in your face the whole time, to the difference good professionals can make (these ones sound promising), to the huge change you're going through - which will also give you more mental space to reflect on what's gone before, which is another can of worms…
Expect turbulence! And look after yourself xxx
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