Home » Products » Organization Tools » Discussions » now mom wants to come home, but I am not…
susanT8403
Give a Hug
Print
Email
Add Your Comment »
LynnPO
Jun 10, 2010
Put it all on the doctor. Tell her that the doctor says she needs more care than she will get at home. The doctor says you need someone "official" and trained to monitor her medications. The doctor says it's not safe for you to be at home. The doctor says you need special trained aides who know how to lift you and help you bathe, transfer to the toilet, etc.. anything you can think of!! I've been using this strategy with my own Mom for more than a year now. I hoped that she'd adjust and not ask but she does every time I see her. I'm just prepared to go down this list now and after I do I change the subject. She never asks to go home but she does ask how long she must be here - "here" was an assisted living center until feb 1, then she was admitted to a nursing home. Please don't beat up on yourself for not taking her home. You must realize that being a good daughter also means realizing what you can and cannot do. Think of your Mom 20 years ago or when you were a teenager, would she want you to hurt yourself taking care of her? Chances are probably not. A good daughter will make sure she's safe, gets her meds on time, gets help bathing, transferring and all that. By being her advocate at the nursing home you are fulfilling these requirements. By visiting regularily you're being loving, give yourself the space to rest and destress at home so that you can be both the advocate and loving daughter when you visit. Best of luck to you and to your mom.
Like this (1)
Report this Post
Please stay on topic or start a new discussion.
Have a question? Just need to vent? Find answers and support from the real experts - other caregivers!
Two years this July my mother has been living with me. She is a mean and hateful woman and I just can't do… Comment 46 mins ago by Elisa1961
How do we know when it is time to put our aging parents who live with us in an assisted living home? Asked 48 mins ago by Sober2004
Grossed Out? Need to Vent? Just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair! Comment 4 hrs ago by angelhair
Wishy-washy parent causing anxiety from afar Comment 4 hrs ago by jeannegibbs
HELP, I HAVE A HOARDING FATHER! I WANT TO MOVE OUT OF MY OWN PLACE! Comment 4 hrs ago by jeannegibbs
More From The Community »
Sign up for our newsletter and receive practical tips and support for caregivers
Like AgingCare.com on Facebook
To use this feature, you must be a member.
Just what a caregiver needs to make life a little easier. Join AgingCare.com for FREE!
Access the Caregiver Forum
Answers and support from caregivers and elder care experts.
Receive Helpful Caregiving Information
Articles on providing care, senior health, financial and legal matters, and more.
Create Your Personal Account
Customize your experience to see what is important to you and your unique caregiving situation.
Already a Member?
Login to your account
Screen name or email address:
Password: