Caregiver Olympics - Any Event Suggestions?

Rookie league- applying for Medicaid. points awarded for:
*fastest copying
*least amount of paper
*fewest phone calls
*fewest visits to bank
*competing with the flu
*maintaining visits to NH

Disqualified for:
*lying
*incomplete paperwork
*mental or physical harm to immediate family while competing

I came here to comment as I ot an idea from reading another thread....
Obstacle course: The object to get the medal is based on completing care giving duties such as, safety. security, meds, dr's appts. "those are the easy DUTIES and etc. (you all know the long list)... and not losing your own mind in the process.... and all extra score points given when there are people that throw unnecessary BS in your way, you all know... the complainers without realistic goals and all they do includes nothing they have no clue as to what the goal is, but pretend that their complaints matter, just to make you look like what you are doing is pointless.. (AS IF THE OBSTACLES are HELPING)
THE GOAL HEART MEDAL GOES TO "ALL WHO" ..............
~CAN PROTECT THEIR "ELDERLY IN NEED" FROM FAMILY OR ANYBODY ELSE'S...ABUSE, OF MONEY, OF FRAUD, CONTROL FOR SELFISH GOALS, AND JUST PLAIN UNCARING MOTIVES~

Hi I'm calling to see if you can send my mother an application for elderly subsidized housing. Research,repeat. Then the filling out of the forms while mother is transfixed by bad television, yes on high. How early can the form filler-outer get up; how late can she stay up ... Because trying to fill out the forms with parent wanting desperately to chat is also a balancing act. And don't forget how to get elder to focus on requested documents ... Now where did I put that is the question, as form filler-outer and elder navigate the obstacle course of coupons, papers from 1965 and lots of papers from the past shoved into kitchen drawers and never opened. It's the paperwork Olympics!

can you cook a meal "on time" (her time) before she decides that she isn't hungry and doesn't want to eat?
* caregiver must be ready for unexpected demand for supper "now"
* try not to let her know what you are preparing so she cannot say she doesn't like it.
* keep it simple but colourful and tasteful without spices
* get it onto her prepared at the table and serve food while still hot enough.
* bonus points if she actually eats it.

Yes - i's like a standing deadlift -- my variation was having to do it with a person with a broken arm. Almost called 911, then figured out how to lift (from the knees) gently using a luggage strap. Quite an adventure.

Pulling up person in bed or in chair. Mine likes to constantly pick up things. I find her sitting on the floor, and then I need to pull her up all the way.

Caregiver sprints: Since you are going to be needed any moment, how fast can you:
1) eat
2)sleep
3) well basically, how fast can you do anything?
This event is training for the next competition:
Most number of assistance requests responded to by caregiver within a given time

Stephan, never underestimate a mom!

On an international competition level how about the wheelchair fly and dive event? -- during a famlily trip I borrowed a wheelchair at the Miro Museum in Barcelona a few years ago and thought we were going to take a quiet stroll though a fine museum looking at great art. The wheelchair's handlelbars came off as we were at the top of a long downward ramp which ended at a giant plate glass window, with two stories down to the sculpture garden. I had to sprint after the wheelchair which was flying down the ramp with my mother in it... and I made a dive and grabbed the handles right before she crashed through the window. She didn't say anything, so I figured she might now have been aware of the situation, until we returned the chair, and I explained to the supervisor that the handles were unsafe, and she piped up "Si, muy peligroso..." So we had a good laugh....

I would like to add to Judy's event.... Please do not attempt to do this at home. the performance you just watched was performed by a professional stunt..oops..caregiver!

Oh! What about who can run the fastest to unplug the weed whacker from the outlet on the patio while the elder is busy at the other end of the yard, whacking imaginery weeds, while draping the extension cord just inches above the water across the pool. This race requires that you don't distract the elder, who may let the slack in the cord drop into the water, and requires that you grab the cord and hold it up before unplugging it to maintain the gap between the cord and the water. You will be running a distance of about 20 feet from the yard gate to the outlet, will have to fling several full shopping bags and a purse in order to perform said feat with free hands. While unplugging, you must be able to swing the cord onto the cool decking before elder turns around, confused that the power is off. This can be an exciting event. It should only be done once. The weedwhacker must be removed from the residence after just one race.

How about the negativity rant endurance test.... Enduring the onslaught of negativity from the elder, one sentence after another, complaints, criticisms, injustices, etc., nonstop for periods of at least a half an hour at a time, without getting a stiff neck and shoulders or a headache. Knitting ones eyebrows during the rant gets deducted points.

nap marathon who can get from point a to point b when they call

How about counting the times you tell them something and they have that far away look in their eyes and you know they didn't understand a word you said. You repeat your sentence, only now you use a bull horn ten feet from them.

This post has given the laugh I needed to end my day - hilarious!!

How about the Emergency Alert Relay: receive an emergency alert call. Get in the car, drive 30 miles, find relative happily asleep having accidentally hit the button. Drive 30 miles home. Alert goes off again. call -- no answer. Drive 30 miles. alert button tucked in bra, went off accidentally. Drive 30 miles... do this for weeks, finally give up, buy baby monitor, start sleeping on floor in relative's living room. Wake up every time baby monitor goes off because beloved family member yawns, sneezes, coughs or farts. Do this for years.

The Poop Shuffle

I mop I mop I mop
The puppy poops in Pa's room
Pa heads to the bathroom
shuffle shuffle shuffle
through the poop poop poop
looks for me throughout the house
shuffle shuffle shuffle
through the poop poop poop
I get the mop mop mop
through the brown brick road :)
*´¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ

We are all "Caregiver All Stars":
STEPHAN...I hope you don't mind me stealing your quote but it's perfect!!!
"Warm Heart Event": The gold medal is having clean, safe, happy and grateful relatives leading happy lives and enjoying their old age years, being trusted and doing a good job. Repaying them for the decades of love and care is absolutely priceless!
None of us do anything for anyone and expect a reward except
"PEACE OF MIND AND A FEELING OF DOING RIGHT FOR A LOVED ONE OR ANOTHER LIFE" .... No Matter how SH.. HIT.. EE... or Bloody or Crazy it makes us.... Caregivers do it with Love but we are too tired to "do it"!!!! LOL
I believe we are all blessed to have each other we share an understanding most others resist or fear.... without that understanding , "those others" who read this thread, think we are all the crazy one's, when we know different, I feel sorry for "them" !!! I guess I cannot generalize but I'm venting a bit of my frustration not understood by family members.

Trying to figure out different ways to (beg, persuade, cajole, encourage, inspire,
plead, not threaten of course) other relatives to atleast take a few minutes to visit, call, write, etc. the loved one. Trying not to become too discouraged, saddened, empathetic, etc. with others who are "very busy". This is a feat that sometimes takes a lot of prayer!

I deserve a medal for cleaning up poop. Bonus points for doing 15 loads of laundry and cleaning up poop everywhere, even on ceiling, after beloved relative got food poisoning while a guest at a friend's house. More points for cleaning a public restroom at the opera house where relative got a recurrence of c-diff, and dealing with the long line of angry and impatient opera patrons.

A related event is cleaning up copious amounts of blood in public after paper-thin skin bruised, and explaining bruises to horrified onlookers (today mom hit her face on the corner of the car door somehow and showed up to a birthday lunch looking like a prize fighter who lost a fight). Also explaining to horrified onlookers about blood in car after stepfather's stent surgery incision opened up on long drive home and filled passenger side foot well with blood the night before Thanksgiving with 20 relatives due to show up -- cooking turkey dinner and hosing blood out of car....

The gold medal is having clean, safe, happy and grateful relatives leading happy lives and enjoying their old age years, being trusted and doing a good job. Repaying them for the decades of love and care is absolutely priceless!

The "Just a Walk" event: How many walks can you go on with Mom, in one day!!!..... leaving the house returning... repeat.... repeat... repeat.... etc.....until she realizes and is satisfied you'd been on a walk!!! My Mom gets the Gold for that event she was (I am convinced) trying to wear me out so I'd give up, I never did but she definitely out walked me!!!

LoL!!!!

Hahahaha-yep I am! Good one!

Kimbee, you must be "wiped" out! LOL

Oh mommag-no disrespect, but we ROLL with it here, and sadly, have taken bathroom humor to a whole new level. So, what about the event: "Poop Jokes, Stinky Faces and Nose-Holding Dance Competition" Extra points for adding original song lyrics set to familiar tunes. (please don't kick me off the site-I'm at the silly tired stage Cause I had the Explanation Station Marathon all afternoon) My sweet mom thanked me for helping her understand and asked if I'd mind writing it down for her so she could remember and study it later-broke my heart and felt thankful at the same time. But we're still gonna have poopy songs around here.

*thought of...tired today.

I have a challenge that I am sure you all of but were afraid to mention...

Doing the toilet duties without commenting on the smell or complaining and asking God why you have to do this!

In honor of the Olympics drugging controversy: The medication challenge - a never ending event consisting of:
1. filling and collecting RX 2. questioning need for RX 3. research of side effects, other medication interactions 3. curve when out of blue insurance decides not to cover or insists on switching 4.running quizz: why am i taking this/.how long do i have to take this 5 . the generic handoff twist: just as everyone gets used to a certain color and shape of each pill to avoid errors, you start getting something that looks totally different 6) detour whilie you wait for dr's office to send in a refill. 7) go back to 1 and start over endlessly
Extra challenge: figure out how to recycle pill bottle in a creative way (turn them into cat toys, store screws, etc, donate to vet offices, single flower bud vases that don't spill (punch one hole in cap to insert stem and place by bedside.

Some helpful things: if your insurance lets you it is much easier to ask the dr to write the RX for a 90 day supply; And Walgreen (and maybae others) didn't realize under recently that the cap on the bottle works from both sides, screw on one side and it is not a child proof cat. make sure you get a form from the medicare D provider and pharmacy in advance (if they require it) that allows you to talk to them about the medications prescribed for your family member

What about a timed event where competitors name as many things as possible that will help a person go number two when they're constipated, without them knowing what you're up to. I think I'd be a contender: prune juice, fig bars, fiber one, bran flakes, metamucil, sugar free candies, baked beans....

How about how fast can you hit the mute button when trying to work and your aging parent starts asking questions in the background while you're on a conference call?