Home » Senior Living » Nursing Homes » Discussions » The honeymoon is over at the nursing home

The honeymoon is over at the nursing home

Placed my Mom in a nursing home 2 weeks ago. She is glum, belligerent, rude to staff, really unhappy about being there. I have explained that there was no other place for her to go, with her medical problems, etc. She is forgetful, just angry really and does not share with anyone but me. I dread the visits. How can I help her perk up? I am 60 and feel the clock ticking myself. Ideas for self-care?
2 Comments

 Print

Email Email

 
 
 
  •  Comments 1 to 2 of 2 
 
 

lmw124

Give a Hug

Nov 4, 2009

I am going through a similar experience. I just placed my mom in a nursing home last month and she is really upset with both me and my sister. She does not understand that she needs to have the care they give her there, does not understand why she still needs to use her walker even though they have gotten her stronger in physical therapy and complains about her roomate not meeting her standards in terms of education and class. Mom is a high-class lady, values her appearance, even though she is having trouble forgetting things, gets disoriented and is not using good judgment when she is in her "manic" mode. She has manic/drepression I am sure. She was depressed the first two weeks, then became combative and complained a lot, now is going into unrealistic expectations for herself. She keeps begging me to take her back, but I have to remain strong, I have lost five years taking care of her full-time, and yes, I am also 60 and feel the clock ticking. I do not want to be so physically and mentally run down that I cannot do more things that I had planned to do in my life, like go on a genealogy mission for my church and travel to all the places where my ancestors lived. And yes, I dread the visits to see mom now. I cried and cried for several weeks but now I have accepted it that I need to get on with my life. Try to join a support group, get some psychotherapy, that has help me a lot.

 
 

Like this (0)

Report this Post 

 

lajmtus

Give a Hug

Nov 4, 2009

Gosh, your comments are so great; I just got goosebumps reading them. Thank you so much. I have been thinking about therapy LOTS and have a good friend who is well connected with therapists in town. So I appreciate the affirmation there.

My mom is a bit of a "snob," too! And for years I thought she was probably manic-depressive, but now am thinking it may be borderline personality. Guess it doesn't really matter, but somehow if I give it sort of a "clinical" picture, I can deal with it more easily. My main focus now is self-care so I am quilting up a storm, making travel plans with my husband, and planning to start a part-time job in January.

Your mission sounds so interesting; I hope you do go and get all kinds of fun info about your family. Thanks again for your reply.

 
 

Like this (0)

Report this Post 

  •  Comments 1 to 2 of 2 

Add Your Comment

Please stay on topic or start a new discussion.

Find Senior Housing And Care That Fits You Needs

I am looking for:
Search location:











Housing


Care


Join the Discussion

Have a question? Just need to vent? Find answers and support from the real experts - other caregivers!

Recent Community Activity

What is the ONE thing you wish you knew before you took on being a caregiver?
Answered 42 mins ago by Dtflex

Should I pay off my grandma's house?
Answered 46 mins ago by jeannegibbs

My biggest fear is my disabled, depressed mother will run out of money and will have to move in with me.
Answered 2 hrs ago by jeannegibbs

The Caregiver....How are YOU doing today?
Comment 2 hrs ago by burnedncaringst

Grossed Out? Need to Vent? Just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!
Comment 2 hrs ago by cricketinafp

More From The Community »

Stay Connected

Sign up for our newsletter and receive practical tips and support for caregivers

 

Like AgingCare.com on Facebook