Home » Caregiver Forum » Discussions » My father is 84 and has fixated on a 57 year…
crystal209
Give a Hug
Mar 12, 2010
He enjoys his time with her she lives 2 hours away and they talk on the phone and visit and take trips together, but now he does not want anything to do with his family including me. He has increasingly treated me worse and more disrespectful since and i feel alieanated from his friends and life. I am feeling manipulated, like the hired help. I am seriouly thinking of moving out, i don't feel appriciated. Any advice?
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pamela6148
If you move out, that creates a spot for that 57 year old. Are you prepared for that? just asking
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I think so, i have been around men long enough to know that when they are in lust..love whatever they act foolish. I am prepared for him to have someone who loves him for him and not his money. I don't think this is the girl by far and hate to see him used and act foolish and alianate his family.
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Then you should not leave. We can preach and preach to our parents about these things but until they see for themselves they will never believe us.
I am hoping that this fling won't last, but I'm also hoping you get her away from your dad B4 she get's the gold, if you get my drift.
How about you perhaps attempt to introduce him to someone yourself. Maybe there's a senior citizen place that he could join and increase his chances of meeting someone closer to his age? maybe a church, or any other type of social group.
You haven't given much history on your relationship with your dad. Did you lose your mom a while back? Are you married? children? What has your relationship been with your dad in the past. Do you have brothers and sisters?
Alienated, are you preaching at your dad about this lady? what do you do in your spare time? do you have hobbies?
Hi i appriciate you taking the time, i am divorced, my children are grown and i have 2 grandchildren who live out of state. I have always had a close relationship i thought with my dad, but i was in the army for 26 years and visited 1-2 a year. We both are financially secure. Yes i am guilty of preaching to my dad about this lady. My 2 brothers are not supportive and he is not close to any other family members. He has bowling friends and fishing and hunting friends. I know that they are impressed with him and this woman.
I can't tell you what to do but if it were me I'd let him be the big man for a minute among his macho friends. I'd also have to play the Devil's Advocate if it seems to be getting out of hand with evidence of the 57 year old stealing, should it come to that.
A 57 yr old has little in common with an 84 yr old and I would be leary too. But I know preaching will only compound the situation. Maybe if your dad saw that it didn't bother you so much, it wouldn't bother him so much. Right now he is so happy this woman is with him he's in a state of awe.
I'm gonna leave this forum open, as there are a lot of people here who will give you very good advice as I've gotten myself.
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