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anonymous31857
Sep 16, 2010
My father is 62 confined to bed due to the severity of his COPD. He also has breathing treatments every fours hours and takes over 12 different meds every 2 to 4 hours. So he can never sleep more than 4 hours at a time and he cant miss a treatment or he spends hours trying to catch his breath. I am his unemployed daughter which has been a like a god send becuase it has allowed me to be able to take care of him. But it is hard sometimes to have the will power to even get out of bed. Those in my position probably know what it is like to not ev even be thanks or asked. And now it has come to the time where I dont know if I can trust him with his meds anymore he has recently started to mess them up and I dont know what to do. I want to take control and monitor his meds but he is being very forcefull about refusing. Which I can understand it is on of the few things he still has control over. But it is scary and expensive that he keeps screwing it up.
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Sorry. I wish you the best. All you can do is hope that he is okay.
judy1942
Mar 15, 2012
my husband has been coughing up blood can only walk for about 15ft he is on oxygen refuses to see a doctor . its the coughting up blood that scares me. should i isist he go to a doctor
JaneB
I hope some of these suggestions feel "doable" and not like I'm telling you your business.
You must have a relationship with the main doctor, since your dad is getting this level of care. If you call and request an appointment as soon as possible to get some caregiving questions answered, they will be able to help. SOme practices have a social worker involved as well, and s/he can help.
Is there someone near by who can help with the caregiving? A relative? Is there money to pay for someone to take the night shift -- say the two hours before and after the middle-of-the-night medication administration? That way, Dad is covered and you get the rest you BOTH need you to get.
How will you know when you have reached the point where he needs care you can't give? I'm not saying you are there. But give some thought to what "there" looks like, so you will know when you see it -- not weeks after the fact.
Sometimes giving the best care means WE can't be the ones to do it. It means help sometimes, or a shift in the loved one's living situation. It's not abandonment. It's caregiving, to provide that.
Sending you love and light...
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jeannegibbs
Judy1942, your profile doesn't give us any information on your husband's general state of health, such as whether he has dementia, COPD, etc. But in general, I'd say yes, coughing up blood is a sign that he should see a doctor. Does his clinic or insurance company offer a Nurse Help Line that you can call and describe the situation and get advice? Now would be a good time to use that.
What is his reason for not wanting to see a doctor?
Please stay on topic or start a new discussion.
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