Hearing but not understanding what I am saying to mom.

Get a hearing aid, or two. People with impaired hearing complain that they can hear, but cannot understand what the speaker is saying.
Also, leave the Closed Captions on the TV.

Have you had them tested for hearing loss? Or even cognitive impairment? If they can't understand you, is it because others talk to fast???? Sometimes this is the major culprit not the hearing but as we age our synapsis slow down and it takes us longer to understand what is being said. Ode to be young again :)

I took my mom to hearing specialist two years ago to be tested she had been hard of hearing for at least 40 years well her hearing is so bad almost nil that the doc said she isn't even a candidate for a hearing aid now its her eyes, she won't get new glasses although the money has been provided for her over the last 20 years so she uses a pair of store bought glasses with a magnifying glass to read. she has cataracts that should have been removed two years ago but refuses so she can not see anything she spills or bread crumbs or anything like that yet she tells me she can hear just fine and there isn't anything wrong with her eyesight okay maybe I am seeing here differently ? who knows its always me anyway so yet she said yesterday she wants to go back into her own place an apartment somewhere well this is the 4th time she's said that and she's the one who wanted to come live with me. so I am just going to ignore that because she can't live on her own anymmore If I walk into a room and say something she doesn't even hear me only if she can see my face than it has to be repeated very slowly about 4 or 5 times but she can hear God Bless her.

Yes, she does have a hearing aid, however it is about 20 years old, and probably could use one in the other ear also. She could have gotten a new one while she had the money, but her priorities were all mixed up, she wanted to do things like spoiling her boyfriend, redecorating, traveling, etc. when she should have been getting a new hearing aid. Of course now that she is in the nursing home she does not have the money for it. I find that I have to repeat myself over and over again for her to understand what I am saying. I am pretty good about speaking up, but she gets upset with my sister and her children because they don't speak up so she can understand them. Then it results in her complaining to me about my sister and the children not being nice to her and I have to try to explain it away (caught in the middle). Right now she is accusing us of putting one over on her when she was sent to the nursing home, even though I explained it throuoghly to her and thought she had understood what was going on, causing me a big problem now as she is suing us for putting her there and wants her property and checkbook back. Hopefully the judge will understand what is going on with her. A lot of times a simple misunderstanding or not totally realizing what a person is saying can cause a big family fight. The only thing I can do now is pray that this will all work out and our family will be able to have a the Holidays together without all this fighting and getting me caught in the middle.

Why do we do this? Try to control things that are not ours to control? I am saying this because I do the same thing. Why do we not take care of ourselves. Who made this our obligation? It infuriates me as a people pleaser. I can't control it , and it just makes me want to do it that much more.

Because we have the heart of God within us

At some point in time, it becomes more difficult for someone who is hard of hearing to understand because they also cannot disseminate information as quickly and are often unaware of the topic. This is true even if there is no hearing loss. You have to explain each part of the conversation which puts a burden on the flow when other people are involved and can frustrate everyone. It can be difficult to realize that the mind can be sharp in many ways yet dull in others. I find it most difficult to try to help someone who denies any problems and points the fingers at others for their lack of understanding, hearing, sight, remembering, etc. The key is for all family members to be on the same page and know that things are different and accept the changes in their loved one. It helps when each support the other.

It could be her hearing, but it could be dementia - people with dementia can often hear just fine, but can't make sense of the words. Has she had a workup for dementia?

Carol

Stand in front of the person who has a hearing problem. Get their attention by a light touch or other means. Speak a bit louder than normal while you are looking at each other. It is a bit of a chore--or so we think--but once the person is focused on you, they can usually determine what you're saying. Speaking when your
back is turned, speaking when there are background noises, and speaking over a distance will always cause a communication problem!

Good advice, I try to put myself in her shoes I don't know what I'll be like when I get to be 83 but I will have the operations and or hearinf aids regardless. Sometimes people think they know best in actuallity they are hurting themselves thats my mom! As for being tested for dementia haha I know mom if she won't have her cataracts removed and didn't take care of her hearing years ago she will NOT be tested for dementia although I know that has started along time ago I suggested to her doctor when she kept running back and forth and they could find nothing wrong with her that she talk to a therapist well when he suggested that she blew out of there like hurricane Katrina no lying. You see my mm is arcissistic therefore she is reaping what she has sown but I have to do my best for her not just for her but for myself as well.