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Crowemagnum

Member since August 2009
174 comment stars from 68 members Give Crowemagnum a hug!

Name John
Age 53
Gender M

I'm Caring For

Name Relation Age Residency Primary Ailment
Sally Mother 79 Nursing Home Alzheimer's / Dementia

About me

My mother had several years of seizures and increasing dementia. Her neurologist and home health workers wanted her to go to assisted living but she refused. She and my step-dad hid from everyone until 2009 the fact that they had not paid taxes since 2004. :(

In March of 2009, my mother suffered a stroke and the next month, she fell and broke her hip which required surgery. Since May of 2009, my mother has lived in a nursing home in a city an hour away from me where her home is in which my 86 year old step-dad lives by himself in a wheel chair. She refuse to work with the PT people and her dementia has recently gotten much worse. My mother turned 79 in July and her 80 year old brother died 2 weeks ago.

I am so glad that my mother bought long term health insurance after her mother died in 1996 and put it on auto-draft from her personal banking account. It is no longer being drafted for monthly premiums and those have recently gone higher.

I'm my mother's only child. She wisely gave me both Durable and Medical POA in 2002, but with her decline in 2004 and my going on disability in 2003, we both forgot those documents existed. Thus, we had them created by the same lawyer in February of 2009. I have my mother's will for which I'm the executor and the sole inheritor.

I'm 53. My wife (55) and I both live on disability and live about an hour drive. Our oldest son is a sophomore in college in the Air Froce ROTC with a scholarship and our youngest son is a high school senior who is having a time dealing with his ADHD.

I've been in therapy for my bi-polar disorder and depression since 2002. For the last several years, I've also been dealing with family of origin issues related to both my mother and my father. Funny how things like this come to the front when our parents decline.

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Displaying messages 1 to 10 of 238

1 hr ago

castoff
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Ha. No shame here, but hub and I do have a tendancy to baffle folks though. Most folks have a hard time believing he and I both go out into the tundra to photo bears, elk, wolves & other wild creatures. Not very "lady like" but we both love GOD's furry & feathered creatures so.
The LORD made a place for the wild goats & the two of us.
Blessings to you & yours.

18 hrs ago

castoff
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So happy that you got a breakthrough and was able to forgive your mom. As Joyce Meyer (one of my favorite teachers) says: "Hurting people hurt people". This is so true. Forgiveness is hard, but it does us more good than the one we forgive. I was bitter for many years and have to watch I don't fall into it again.
My Hub & I have a non-traditional marriage too. I'm a little masculine in my thought process/logic & we almost "share the same brain". We laugh about it but it works for us. Both extremely mechanically enclined and on the same page about almost everything. We often have the same idea at the same time & jokingly say "Get out of my head!!". LOL. This could be dangerous, but we are harmless. LOL.

Glad your family dynamics and understanding of one another is growing. That's always good.

GOD bless & keep you & your's.

42 hrs ago

195Austin
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I was trying to joke in these parts it is always about must see TV I myself usually read and only watch Dr.Phil-who ruined me according to my late husband and Judge Judy-her son is our county DA and she use to live near here and has visited our senior center I ran into her at a garden store and wanted to say hello but was afraid she would yell at me and I watch the news city and local then read until time to go to bed.

43 hrs ago

195Austin
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You have to read the thread grossed out -need to vent its better than watching TV a tempest in a tea pot for sure Of course God is involved. If you have time go back the last two days or so must see not TV

44 hrs ago

AlwaysMyDuty
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Crowe, sounds like a fantastic session! I'm happy for you. You and your wife sound like a good duo. I think most relationships work better with boundaries, acceptance, love and respect. And who cares if you don't have the traditional marriage? You have the marriage that's right for you. We aren't meant to fit into a mold, we are supposed to live our own lives, and it sounds like yours is just fine. You worked hard for this day, now go relax and enjoy your evening.

44 hrs ago

ksue5036
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As long as you are happy and your wife than all is good. I am glad you had a good session. Now go out and have a nice evening on the town with your wife.

45 hrs ago

195Austin
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It works for the two of you which is important unfortnatually the 50's and 60's shaped who I am and when I got married and was soon abused I thought it was all my fault even the male counsulor did not want me to reveal to him the husband's behaivor because then he would have to report and he really did not want that to happen -he might have not believed me but everyone elso saw the bruises even though he tried to hurt me where it would not show and divorce was now an idea Ozzie and Hariet would talk about so I stayed and by the time I got strong enough to leave our pastor talked me out of it but the abuse of the kids stoped after it was reported and he used only verbal abuse and bulling on me but now I realize how mentally sick he was and I am stronger for having had to go through it all and my kids-adults are mentally healthy.

2 days ago

castoff
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Amen to that.

Hub & I know much about the bears.

Hope you can bring the plate/bucket to a managable size.

GOD bless.

2 days ago

castoff
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Hi Crowe,
Like the sign. That was me last week.
Better now & I'm still learning.
Hope all is well with you & yours.

So many folks are dropping from low sodium/potassium lately. Partially the weather & I believe this low sodium diet scare that is so prevalent now. GOD put salt on the earth for a reason. It's all about balance.

2 days ago

ksue5036
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Good luck today at the theapists. I just got back from Shopping and putting off getting mom up. So I am on the internet. But it is getting late so I better get busy. Have a great day.

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