Elderly Caregiver Support

Preventing financial abuse and exploitation of elderly parents
Strategies that caregivers can use to prevent financial abuse and exploitation of their elderly parents.

Burned out caregivers: How to find respite
Get relief from caregiver burnout by finding respite care for your elderly parent

Top Caregiver Stories of 2009
We’ve compiled the most popular topics and issues that got caregivers talking on the AgingCare.com community discussion boards.

Top 10 Caregiver Tips for 2010
As the new year begins, caregivers must find the services and support that can help make their lives and the lives of their aging parents a little easier.

Elders Abusing Their Adult Children Who Are Taking Care of Them
Why do elderly parents turn on the child that is trying so hard to take care of them?

Caregivers and Multi-tasking: Holidays Can Push People Caring for Elderly Parents to the Max
For the Sandwich Generation, holidays are stressful. Their elderly parents need help, the kids need help, the spouse needs help. Here's advice how to cope for caregivers.

Overwhelmed and Underappreciated: Holiday Stress Saps the Joy Out of Caregiver’s Season
People taking care of elderly parents are even more stressed out during the holidays. Here is some advice on respite for caregivers.

Holiday Visits: A Time When Adult Children May Notice a Decline with Their Aging Parents
A large number of caregivers are long distance from their elderly loved ones meaning that holiday visits provide some insight into their parent's health and well-being.

Facts about Hospice Care for Caregivers and Their Elderly Parents
If an elderly parent has six months or less to live, hospice can make their final days more comfortable and pain free.

Caregivers’ Perspectives on Annual Conference for Seniors
AARP's annual conference and expo drew seniors from across the country, including caregivers who are caring for their aging parents.

My elderly stepfather and mother both have dementia. They have become verbally abusive and paranoid. When Mom gets agitated, she bangs walls, clenches fists and screams. How should I deal with this behavior?
Carolyn Rosenblatt answered: When both elderly parents have demenita it's a very difficult situation. Seek your doctor's advice to find out about new medication that might control their agitation and verbally abusive behavior.

I am caring for my 81-year-old mother who lives with me. She is very controlling, wants to rule my life, and treats me like I’m still a teenager. Pointing this out to her doesn’t seem to do any good. What can I do?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: You need the "Jacqueline Marcell emotional shield." Put it on every day, and then don't let anything she says bother you; all negativity has to bounce right off.

I live 3,000 miles away from my father and he needs live-in help, but I’m worried about elder abuse since I can’t be there to monitor the caregivers. What can I do to protect my father and feel more comfortable with hiring caregivers?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: I would hire a geriatric care manager who lives very close to your father, and can be your onging eyes and ears in your absence.

Is there an ideal time off (respite) for caregivers that I can show my sisters to help my case for getting time off?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: I have never seen an official “Required Respite Time” statistic because of course there are so many factors and it’s very individual, but I would boil the need for respite down to this: As often as needed!

What’s the value of Adult Day Care and how can I convince a resistant elder to attend?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: While caring for my elderly parents, I was advised to get them enrolled in a local Adult Day Care program to give them a life outside of bed all day “just waiting to die,” as my father would say. A year later (and at my wit’s end) I decided it was worth a try after I went for a tour of the center nearby.

My normally loving but now slightly demented father is suddenly using the worst possible profanity. How should I handle it?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: When I was taking care of my elderly parents (both with early Alzheimer’s not properly diagnosed for over a year), no one warned me that inhibitions gradually fade and that profanity can often occur.

My single sister has been caring for our mother full-time for 6 years, while I am happily married with 3 children, running a successful business and living 1000 miles away. I feel so guilty I can’t be there. How can I help and show my appreciation?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: Ohhh, how I wish I’d had a caring sister like you! First, realize that caregivers in a prolonged stressful situation have a 63% higher death rate than their peers of the same age—so your sister’s health is in jeopardy and needs to be the priority. Click to read Jacqueline's full answer.

How do I handle friends who are not supportive of my caregiving journey?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: They want to be supportive, but they just can't for long periods of time, because they realize what you are describing is all ahead of them. For now, they aren't there yet, don't want to be, prefer denial--and it is just too unpleasant to listen to horror stories they can't fix. Click to read Jaqueline's full answer.

How can I get my passive sibling to help me with the care of our elderly parents?
Jacqueline Marcell answered: My only sibling, my older brother, only lived a half-hour away from Mom & Dad and I lived over 400 miles, yet I was the one who gave up my life for a year to go take care for them… but… I’m not bitter about it! Click to read Jacqueline's full answer.

I live 1,000 miles away from my elderly father, who needs more day-to-day help than I, with three young children, can provide. What’s a geriatric care manager, and can they help my situation?
Dr. John Connolly answered: Geriatric care managers, GCMs for short, act as a more knowledgeable you--informing you and your parent about what kind of care alternatives are available within the community and helping you assess all the medical, financial and legal issues involved with any given choice. Click to read Dr. Connolly's full answer.