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What It Feels Like to be Old

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How does it feel to be old? Its not something we can fully understand until it happens to us. As caregivers, we've all felt the frustration when dad can't hear at all, but pretends to follow every word of a conversation; or mom gets dressed in seemingly slow motion when you're late for her doctor appointment. Sometimes, it feels as if our elderly parents intentionally try to annoy us. But put yourself in their shoes. The staff of AgingCare.com did just that.

We put ourselves into our parents' shoes when we took part in the Older Adult Sensitivity Program, a training course run by Sue Maxwell, Director of Adults Services at Lee Memorial Hospital in Fort Myers, FL.

We wanted to know what elders experience as age starts to take its toll on the body…and what we are all in for in the future. The hands-on exercise and sensory perception education shed a whole new light on what our parents experience as they age.

Here's what two of us experienced that day.

Marlo Sollitto
Editor, AgingCare.com

Aging is not for sissies. To cope with impaired vision, decreased mobility and loss of dexterity, you've got to be tough. Seniors may be frail, but they are tenacious. When your body and your mind start to fail, even the simplest tasks – getting dressed, reading forms, pushing a grocery cart --- are a challenge. Tasks that younger people never give a second thought to, for elders represent barriers, obstacles, limitations.

As I wore funny-looking glasses that simulated conditions such as glaucoma and cataracts, and donned bulky gloves that imitated arthritic hands, I realized that what minutes ago were easy tasks – buttoning a shirt, opening a medication bottle or handling small pills -- suddenly required my full concentration and took twice as long to complete – if I could complete them at all.

I knew getting old was hard, but before this training, I didn't fully grasp the difficulty of dealing with a declining body and mental capacities. And the fear that must coincide with knowing there's nothing you can do to turn back time.

At the end of the course, I could take off my vision-impairing glasses and mobility-impeding gloves and get on with my life at a normal pace. But my aging parents have to cope with those barriers every day of their lives, for the rest of their lives.

I can tell you this: Put yourself in an elderly person's shoes, even for just five minutes, and you will gain a better understanding of what it's like to grow older and an appreciation for what seniors confront. It was an eye-opening experience.

Anne-Marie Botek
AgingCare.com Reporter

"Aging is not a disease."

I know this statement to be true. Though, I must confess, it is hard to view the difficulties that come with old age as anything other than a sort of inevitable plague.

But, after participating in the aging simulation, I feel I have gained a more complete understanding of some of the obstacles facing an older person as they try to navigate the world.

Maxwell told those of us gathered for the program, "Older people see the world differently than everybody else." I understood the figurative meaning of her words—seniors come from a different time in the evolution of our society—they view things through a different mental lens. But, after my encounter with the glasses included in the sensitivity kit, I also understand the literal truth of her words.

There were five pairs of glasses in total. Glasses one, two, and three blocked out certain areas of my eye sight to mimic the effects of glaucoma, macular degeneration, and stroke. The fourth pair severely blurred my vision with fictitious cataracts till I couldn't read or write. Finally, the fifth set drenched the world in a golden haze to represent yellowing lenses, making it nearly impossible to tell the colors of the kit's fake pills apart.

For a few minutes, the world truly did seem much different and much more frustrating.

 
Read more about: aging adults, aging older adults
 

Comments

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 12 
 
 

lildeb

Give a Hug

Mar 22, 2012

It nice to hear how it would be like from the other side if we had to wear the elder shoes. However, even though I am not old I can relate to some of these as they call it ,"Aging is not for sissies." I think the it should added illnesses as well to aging.

When my lupus sle get in full gear, it would take me 30minutes from a laying down position in the bed just to be able to sit up and boy did I have to go to the bathroom from the night before! Then, it would take me probable another 30 freaking minuets to walk to bathroom as if I was 102 yrs old pacing step by step while in agonizing pain and not to mention almost about to pee my pants. Finally, my hubby just lifted me up and toted my butt on the toilet. Of course, I felt embarrassed, humiliated and just wanted to die. It would also hurt just to try and brush my hair for my arms would be in pain and my whole spine will feel like it was on fire. Much less be able to cook for my son and hubby at the time. I went through this mess for 6 months until the dr had found a med that would finally work.
So, when the article mentions that, :"Tasks that younger people never give a second thought to, for elders represent barriers, obstacles, limitations. " Well maybe for most of them but their are young people who have or still are having challenging situations. Yet, I do understand their point to place yourself in their shoes to help understand how some of the obstacles facing an older person.

 
 

tonio999

Give a Hug

Mar 22, 2012

This was so informative. I wish we could have this experience. On the other hand, I went to bingo with Mom and they wiped the floor with me. Lol! Also made fun of me when i played the wrong way!

 
 

lildeb

Give a Hug

Mar 22, 2012

tonio, as long as both of yall had fun is all that matter and that was funny. I got the mnl some flowers and we put them in three of our plastic swans that I had order. She enjoyed it a little bit except when she get frustrated when she could keep up with the bag of dirt and small shovel. so i gave her one swan at a time to make it easier.

 
 

janetrose7

Give a Hug

Mar 23, 2012

Bless them, and we who have a physical or mental impairment that stops us from being independent and stress-free (whatever that may be!). Being a caregiver limits us from being spontaneous, but that is very little to give up when you look at the other side. It doesn't mean I don't miss those days, but I suppose anything gets old after so long . . . all we can do is live in the moment, be as pleasant and positive as possible, especially with our elderly counterparts. We are each made in a special way; and when I hear someone crying the blues because his/her life isn't 100%, I feel like choking them! I have never met anybody who has it made, so to speak. Everyone has good things and not-so-good things in his/her life, and learning to bear the burdens and be grateful for the good things is what life is all about--at least, in my never-to-be-humble opinion!! Take care and remember to smile! God loves you, no matter what--and so does your doggie, kitty or other pet. Some things you can't put a price on, but is there for the taking for whoever decides they want it.

 
 

lildeb

Give a Hug

Mar 24, 2012

janetrose, When you mention, "We are each made in a special way; and when I hear someone crying the blues because his/her life isn't 100%, I feel like choking them!"
I'm assuming you would be speaking about my post above for I'm only one has mention part of my past experience as when i was young and can related somewhat to how an elder person can feel. However, I would hope that you would not be applying to me for that is so insensitive as a person. I just posted that I can relate for I have been their yet at a very young age. I can relate to an elderly feeling anger, frustrated, and depressed due to having to rely on someone else. I don't want sympathy just stating that NOT "all young people take life for granted." However, I do see where the report was very helpful and hopefully an eye opener for those who due take life for granted. That way they can place themselves in an older person shoes to know how it feels and how they would like to be treated.

 
 

janetrose7

Give a Hug

Mar 24, 2012

Not sure what you are getting at, but hope you're having a great day. Keep up the good work. :)

 
 

lildeb

Give a Hug

Mar 25, 2012

I apologize if I took it the wrong way and you have a great and blessed day. You know how some of us can get so sensitive sometimes.

 
 

janetrose7

Give a Hug

Mar 25, 2012

Lol, no problem honey. I can say that, yes, I do know how things can be misconstrued, and my thoughts did not come out as I meant either, now that I read it back! I so related to what you said, because I have a sister 7 years younger, that was born with cerebral palsy. She is truly an angel, unlike myself--not that I am getting down on myself, and don't mean to say that I am not a good person, because I am; but I wasn't this way for a very long time, and never would have thought I could do what I am doing for such a long time! We probably all amaze ourselves in being able to give as much as we do, but we are not doing this alone--you've seen the set of footprints in the sand? Yep, they are not my sized foot, how about you? Bless you for being the caring and giving person that you are; we can only do the best we can with what we have at the time, so don't ever think you are not doing enough. :)

 
 

lildeb

Give a Hug

Mar 26, 2012

I feel like compared to you all professional oldies that I am just began. ; )

I am sorry to hear that your sister has cerebral palsy and eventually after being a caretaker for only 6 -7 months I am no angel myself and it can get the best of me for I am usually a very easy going person. yet, we all have R limits and I can believe you when you say those footprints are larger than your foot. ; ) Take care of yourself and try to find something to laugh about for it helps a lot.
I had to get the mnl law up early and that is 8am for her and drag her with me to get my fasting lab and whole time she is wandering why I cannot just leave her at the house. I try to explain she been diagnosed with mild AZ but really it is in moderate stage and she goes off with me that she couldn't believe I felt that way about her. I forgot to mention, my b/s was a low 66 and I ate glucose tab for it suppose to be fasting then right before lab it drops again down in 50's. Like good Grief give me a break and No coffee yet either, ah! Mnl has asked me about 20times how much longer will it be and why am I here..... broken record... We finally got out and i took her out for breakfast and she asked me about 10 times what she order to eat. Of course dummy here continues to answer. I finally took her paper place mat for she kept seeing a picture of a sausage biscuit and kept asking what she order, Pancakes..... I asked would she rather have a sausage biscuit. Her reply, :"Oh no, I don't like sausage." Well, how about a butter biscuit? she replies, I rather have a waffle. I took the mat sheet, flipped it over and drew a huge smiling face with a fat tongue hanging out and wrote have a nice day. and put it in front of her. She loved it and quit asking me for they were coming around corner with her pancake. Thank the Lord.

 
 

ociesev

Give a Hug

Apr 21, 2012

I just want to tell all the caregivers i pray for them everyday when i pray for my daughter-in-law who cares for my son with parkinson's what a blessing you are to all of us. God bless you all for keeping your charges alive and moving.if you can sign both of yourselves into an exercise class it will change your lives.

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 12 

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