6. Teamwork
When you first fell in love, you felt it was the two of you against the world. You had each other's back. Support each other through thick and thin, through tough times and uncertainty. Remember the wedding vows: in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse. The same teamwork concept holds true for the rest of the family. If the kids are old enough to do chores, make sure they get done. Running a household is not easy. Making a family work is clearly difficult even in the best of times, and even more challenging when you are the caregiver for an aging parent.
7. Give each other space
Everyone needs some alone time. Make time to be alone with your thoughts and refresh your spirit. If you can't take the time to leave the house for your alone time, find your own space within the home. "Man rooms" have become popular for a reason. Use the office, the den, the back porch…even the basement and turn it into your own personal retreat. You have to belong to yourself before you can belong to others.
8. Keep the flame alive
Make time for fun and romance together. And make it a priority. In caregiving you share the toughest times together. It is equally important to spend at least a small portion of your time enjoying each other's company. Carve out time to have a romantic date, go for a long walk together, drink a bottle of wine watching the sunset and/or just snuggle in bed a little longer in the morning. If your parent needs 24-hour-a-day care, bring in back-up. If friends or family can't or won't help, call an elderly respite company, even if it's just for two hours. The money spent is worth it to save your marriage.
9. Do the simple things
The simple things matter in a marriage. Try to do an act of kindness or love every day. Cook your spouse's favorite dinner, acknowledge your spouse for something he or she has done, or compliment to the other person. Yes, it takes some effort to establish the habit, but the payoff is worth the effort.
10. Build a network
You and your spouse do not have to do it all yourself. Get your children involved. Solicit support from siblings, aunts and uncles. Seek support from your neighbors. Don't be shy about asking for help. You can't do it alone.
11. Stay healthy
Health and well-being are crucial when caring for an elderly parent. Exercise as often as you can, eat healthy and take your vitamins! And don't forget your annual physical exams. You can't effectively take care of others if you don't take of yourself.